


Sudden Insight

by falsepremise



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Eventual Smut, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Jim seduces Spock, M/M, Post-Star Trek Beyond, Romance, Spock Prime gives advice from beyond the grave, a romantic seduction getting smuttier as we go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-09-22 20:07:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 25,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9623480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/falsepremise/pseuds/falsepremise
Summary: Jim experiences a sudden insight- he is in love with Spock. Fortunately, Spock Prime foresaw this eventuality and has ensured that Jim will have access to the knowledge that he needs to seduce his t'hy'la.





	1. Chapter 1

Jim froze, his evening nightcap halfway to his lips, as his mental gears struggled with his sudden insight. If anyone else had been there to see it they’d have been intrigued, possibly even amused. At the very least, curious about his train of thought. As it was Jim was alone in his cabin, Spock having recently departed after beating him thoroughly at chess. His new insight was sudden and a bit shocking. But once it hit him he couldn’t deny it. In fact, he was surprised that he hadn’t realised it sooner. 

He’d been feeling like this for awhile now. Months. When had it begun? He supposed it had begun with ‘What would I do without you?’ Yes, that was the beginning. At the time he’d only been consciously thinking of their synergy as a command team, of his ability to rely upon Spock so thoroughly. But already it had been more than that, hadn’t it? And when, after Yorktown, Spock and Nyota had settled into an amicable breakup, it had seemed only natural to move in on Spock’s freed up recreational time. To get to know him better. After all, the better they knew each other, the more they became close friends, the better they’d function as a team. It made sense. He recalled thinking about it in those terms at the time. But maybe, just maybe, he’d also just wanted to spend more time with him. And they had become closer, hadn’t they? He now felt as close to Spock as to he did to Bones, in a very different way of course but as close. Ah, yes a different way. But the differences weren’t just because Spock and Bones were such different people, were they? Jim’s feelings were different.

Of course, there had been physical attraction and sexual thoughts since he’d met Spock. He hadn’t dwelt on that at all. Jim was highly sexual and, within the privacy of his own mind certainly, entirely at ease with his own sexual feelings and impulses. He’d experienced moments of attraction and sexual musings about almost everyone he’d ever met. But now that he stopped and considered it, his thoughts about Spock had grown hadn’t they? The closer they’d become as friends, the more frequently he experienced moments of attraction to Spock. Whereas, the closer he’d become to Bones, well, he just didn’t think of Bones that way anymore. And if he stopped to consider it, he thought of Spock rather a lot. He hadn’t previously considered the implications of that at all. After all, his sexuality was now tightly constrained by the realities of command. He would not jeopardise his command ability by sleeping around with the crew. As a result, he had to rely on his own hand and his own fantasies an awful lot. Was it any wonder his fantasies had run wild? But, over the past few months he’d fantasied about Spock more often than anyone else, hadn’t he? Far more often. How stupid he’d been to not realise sooner that that meant something. 

Jim finally unfroze, bringing his drink all the way to his mouth and downing it in one gulp. He stripped down to his boxers and climbed into bed, ordering the computer to turn the lights off fully. He sighed. 

This wasn’t just about sex either, was it? It was more. He wanted more, more than he’d ever wanted from anyone before. He wanted to share a life, to be together. If it worked, he could even see himself committing to something longer-term. For the first time, that wasn’t scary. Well, maybe a bit scary, but he could see himself wanting it anyway. Jim sighed again and closed his eyes. What should he do about this? What will this mean? Was it possible his feelings were reciprocated? Jim’s mind bubbled with his new insight as he slowly, slowly, fell asleep.

_**I am in love with Spock.** _

Jim opened his eyes and found himself sitting on a log in front of a campfire, surrounded by trees. He looked up at the dark, night time sky, with two moons and unfamiliar constellations. Not Earth, then. How did I get from my bed to here? Oh, I’m dreaming, aren’t I?

‘You aren’t dreaming, Jim’ a familiar deep voice stated.

Jim suddenly saw Spock, the older Spock from the other universe, sitting next to him on his own log. As usual Spock Prime projected an air of wisdom and dignity, sitting regally in his full Vulcan dress. Jim felt a wave of delight at seeing him again. But then he remembered.

‘You’re dead. I must be dreaming…’

‘Yes, I’m dead. You aren’t really communicating with me. But this isn’t a dream.’

Jim tried to protest again but Spock held up his hand to stop him, ‘I must insist that I explain to you what this is and how it works. You see, we aren’t actually having a conversation, although it has probably felt like we are so far. I am, in fact, a mental image left within your mind, like a recording or a mental tape. You can listen to what I have to say, and I will do my best to anticipate your questions, but unfortunately, I cannot respond to you. I am, as you’ve no doubt already voiced, dead.’

Spock paused and Jim settled in to carefully listen.

Spock gazed down at his hands a moment before returning his gaze to Jim, ‘It is difficult to know where to begin. I hope I’ve done the right thing. I hope you don’t feel any distress about this, Jim. I caused my own Jim to suffer in a way I’ll never forgive myself for, through foolishness and cowardice. He forgave me of course, but I couldn’t sit by and leave you to suffer in any similar way, Jim, not when I may have the knowledge to help you. At the same time, I didn’t feel I could share this knowledge before my death. I was loathe to interfere with your ability to choose your own destiny within this universe. I’m not making any sense am I? Let me start again.’

Spock shifted slightly and Jim leaned forward, ‘I’ve deliberately ensured that this ‘mental tape’ will be played, while you are safely asleep, if there ever comes a time when you think “I am in love with Spock”. It needn’t have been those exact words and, indeed, if you thought those exact words without any real feeling or truth behind them it wouldn’t have triggered this experience. So, there we have it. You have fallen in love with Spock.’

Jim was shocked and couldn’t help but whisper, ‘Yes, yes I have...’

Spock nodded as if he had heard, ‘And if you feel that way, then I think you have the right to know certain facts. Jim and I were bondmates. I loved him deeply and he loved me in turn. He was my t’hy’la. It is a Vulcan word with no direct translation. It is includes meanings like friend, brother and lover, but it is so much more than those words could express. It is the deepest bond possible between two males, Jim. Although I do not wish to interfere in your life or the life of my younger alternative self, I cannot fathom a universe in which Jim and I were not t’hy’la. So, I must conclude that yourself and your own Spock have the potential, at least, to become t’hy’la too. If you have fallen in love with your Spock, then that shows my conclusions are correct.’

Spock paused again, finding his next train of thought. Jim shivered at the new information, whispering to himself, ‘t’hy’la…’

Spock’s face assumed a gentle, regretful expression, ‘The next bit is hard for me to say. Although Jim and are were bondmates, although he forgave me my foolishness, I did hurt him deeply. I was a coward. For years he patiently, gently courted me, while I sent him mixed signals, while I shyed away. Towards the end of our first five year mission we finally expressed fully all that was between us. Yet, just us our bond was deepening, I ran. I was convinced I could never fulfil Jim’s needs. I was frightened of the emotions our bond had awakened in me.’ 

Spock shook his head mournfully, ‘It was not logical, though at the time I convinced myself that it was the only logical solution. I left for Gol to undertake kolinahr, to purge myself of all emotion. At the time I was convinced my Jim would be happier without me. I was wrong. I was so wrong. I did not complete kolinahr. I heard my Jim call for me through the bond and I went to him. I realised the value of my emotions, and in particular that simple feeling humans call love. Jim forgave me instantly. He was always so generous with his love…’

For a time Spock stared silently at the fire, lost in his own memories. Then he seemed to deliberately draw himself away from the past to face Jim, ‘I hope that you find this knowledge valuable. I hope you agree with me that it is worth the imposition. If you do not, I trust you’ll be as generous with me as my Jim always was. It has probably occurred to you by now that I couldn’t leave a message like this within your mind without some kind of a telepathic link. And yet, we only melded once and it would have been remarkably prescient of me to implant this knowledge then. My bond, my broken bond, recognised you. I don’t know if this was facilitated by our melding or if it was inevitable. But I choose not to tell you. I choose, for us both, not to take any steps to break it. I apologise for not giving you the choice but breaking it would have risked your life and I was not willing to do that. I always shielded. I never intruded on your privacy. I hope you can forgive me for this. It may please you to know that you unknowingly gave me great comfort and peace in the last years of my long life.’

Spock sighed, ‘If you should choose it, I’ve left other ‘mental tapes’ within your mind. If before you sleep you will yourself to experience the next one then you shall do so. You can thus receive all the guidance I can give you on your t’hy’la. But right now, although you are not dreaming, it is time for you to wake, Jim, and time for me to depart.’ 

Spock stood, his hands forming the ta’al and Jim quickly stood too with tears in his eyes. 

Spock’s lips twitched at one side into his unique smile, ‘Live long and prosper, my friend.’


	2. Chapter 2

Jim woke with a smile on his face. Everything felt different. He was in love with Spock. They were t’hy’la. They belonged together. A deep dark hole in the depths of his heart, a hole he wasn’t even conscious of, that he’d always simply lived with, seemed instantly filled. 

All that was left was to convince Spock himself. And Jim was a master of seduction. So then why was that so terrifying? Ah, of course, this kind of seduction was quite different to what Jim was used to. Jim was skilled at seducing strangers and acquaintances for casual encounters. He’d never before seduced a friend for a long-term romantic relationship. That was another matter entirely. What had the older Spock called it? Ah, yes. Courting. He had to court Spock as patiently and gently as his counterpart had. 

Jim got out of bed and began to ready himself for the day. He tried to settle his nerves about courting one of his best friends by reminding himself that he would have ongoing advice from the best source possible: Spock himself. 

As he moved towards his door his heart began to thump in anticipation. He would soon see the object of his affections. They were scheduled on the same shift today and Spock would probably still be having breakfast at this time. He might even have just stepped outside his own door… Okay, Jim, pull yourself together.

Jim opened his door and stepped into the hall and, sure enough, there was Spock, having just stepped outside his own quarters. He was dressed his usual science blue shirt, his dark hair sitting perfectly and his brow slightly furrowed, as if he was already engaged in complex calculations. 

With Spock in front of him for the first time since his insight, Jim’s heart leapt and his stomach twisted into a nervous knot. Oh, God, he is gorgeous… Just remember to breathe, Jim, remember to breathe…

Spock’s gaze darted to Jim, ‘Captain, I was on my way to breakfast before our shift. Care to accompany me?’

Jim smiled warmly, ‘I’d be delighted, Spock.’

Spock nodded and they walked towards the turbolift together, with Spock initiating a conversation about one of his latest science experiments and continuing the conversation over breakfast. Jim relished in the opportunity to drink Spock in, enjoying the way his dark eyes twinkled as he detailed the implications of his latest discovery. He was clearly excited about his latest project. Not that Spock would describe himself as excited, of course, he’d probably say he was curious or some other word or turn of phrase that Vulcans deemed emotionless and thus acceptable. But whether you called it excited or curious, damn, it was cute. 

They soon found themselves on the bridge, going through the motions of a fairly ordinary day. Life as a Starfleet captain included quite routine monotonous shifts travelling from one section of space to another, performing drills or pausing in other operations while the science team busied itself collecting data or the engineering team performed routine maintenance. It also included utterly thrilling shifts involving shattering discoveries, contact with entirely new civilisations, death defying missions and life or death scenarios. What it seemed to lack was anything in between. As usual, Jim found boredom begin to sink in halfway through the monotonous shift. He reminded himself, as was his habit, that the boring shifts allowed him the time to recover and that he needed this boredom to be ready for the next thrilling shift when it came.

The lack of excitement certainly made it harder to ignore the distraction of Spock. Jim had to regularly remind himself that openly staring at the contours of his first officer’s rear end was not appropriate behaviour for a captain. No matter how temptingly said first officer displayed his rear end while bending over his console. Jim kept himself busy with paperwork instead.

At the end of shift, Jim found himself again in the turbolift with Spock. 

As soon as the doors closed Spock turned to him, ‘Jim, are you well?’

Jim blinked, ‘Yes, quite well, why?’

Spock paused, and his brow furrowed in thought, ‘You seemed distracted today. As you know, I need to recalibrate some of the equipment in the lab tonight and will be unable to engage with you socially. I thought it my duty, however, to check that you are in good health.’

‘Thanks, Spock,’ Jim smiled, ‘I’m quite well. Just distracted by my own thoughts I guess.’

Spock nodded, ‘Very well,’ he replied, adding ‘Good evening,’ as the turbolift doors opened and he departed.

Jim sighed. Spock had noticed something was up already. Oh, well, let the courtship begin. It was difficult to get through the hours until bed. Jim just wanted to see the older Spock again and receive his first piece of advice. He distracted himself by seeking out the company of Bones and doing a bit more paperwork. 

Eventually, it was time for bed and he deliberately willed himself to experience the next ‘mental tape’ as the older Spock had called them before drifting off to sleep…

Again he found himself sitting on a log in front of a campfire with the older Spock.

Spock Prime’s lips twitched at the side slightly in his characteristic smile, ‘Welcome back, Jim.’

Jim smiled in return and Spock’s gaze shifted to look up at the stars, ‘I do have quite specific advice for you, Jim and I’ll give it, in time. But first, we must consider the similarities and the differences between myself and my younger counterpart. And I must help you to understand the way he thinks…and feels…though he himself will likely not admit to the latter just yet.’

Jim nodded and leaned forward, listening intently.

‘It is perhaps best if I begin by sharing a little of myself and, from there, speculating on similarities and differences.’ Spock sighed, ‘There is much about me that comes back to my dual nature, both Vulcan and human. I cannot simply live as a human, Jim. Vulcans who do not follow the way of Surak are not human. Our passions consume us and, being telepaths, spread and destroy lives like emotional epidemics. And so I must live the way of Surak. Yet, I am also part human and the Vulcan path does not fully suit this side of me. And so, I must be human at times, too. It took me many years to learn this and you were instrumental in its teaching. 

Before I had this realisation, when I tried to simply be Vulcan, living the way of Surak as full-bloodied Vulcans do, I developed a deep sense of shame. It seemed I was never adequate. Not Vulcan enough. Not human enough. I belonged nowhere. And I was so ashamed of the experiences my dual heritage brought, experiences I believed were failures. I believe your Spock shares this deep sense of shame and personal inadequacy. However, I do not think he clings to the belief that his inadequacy is the result of his human heritage as I once did. I think he is a little more open to being human. I’m hoping that will work in your favour. Though it may mean he feels his sense of inadequacy all the more deeply as a personal failing, not as an indication of his part humanity. Vulcan culture has been far more xenophobic in this universe than it was in my own. I experienced much rejection, even bullying, in childhood and I believe Spock’s experiences were far more aggressive than my own. And, of course, the emotional impact of the death of our mother and the loss of Vulcan is incalculable. His sense of shame may be very deep indeed.’

Spock paused, his dark eyes seeming to seek out Jim’s. Jim was gutted, tears welling in his eyes from perceiving Spock’s deep pain. Jim knew what it was to face rejection, and it tore him apart to realise that Spock had faced rejection far worse than he ever had.

‘There is an upside to the increased xenophobia for your Spock, however, as it seems to have shifted my father Sarek’s opinions to be more openly supportive of his son. My decision to join Starfleet resulted in an estrangement from my father, an estrangement that lasted many years. This brings me to consider our differing romantic experiences.

Jim, I was painfully inexperienced romantically. I was betrothed at the age of seven to a female Vulcan of my parent’s choosing by the name of T’Pring, as was the custom in the more illustrious families of Vulcan at the time. I realise that the custom sounds archaic by Earth standards, however, there comes a time in the life of a male Vulcan where he is drawn by deep biological needs to find a mate. If he cannot find one, he will likely die. If he himself has not chosen a mate before his time, then he will be drawn to his betrothed. The custom serves a protective function. 

Although I was betrothed to T’Pring, we had no real relationship to speak of. Throughout childhood I was always isolated to a degree from my Vulcan peers. I left for Starfleet just as adulthood was looming, and as a result, was estranged from my father. I lacked guidance in navigating the realities of adult life as a Vulcan. More than that, I was riddled with childish misconceptions and I had no one to correct my mistakes. I came into adulthood surrounded by humans and, again, experienced a degree of isolation from my peers. To be frank, before my relationship with my Jim began, my knowledge of romance and sexuality both Vulcan and human came entirely from scientific texts. This no doubt contributed to the years of mixed signals and painful shyness that Jim had to endure in courting me.’

Spock gazed back out at the stars, ‘Let’s consider your Spock. Obviously, he is more experienced than I. I understand, from my father, that he was never betrothed, the increased prejudice making such an arrangement impossible. Given the lack of a betrothal bond, and the obvious disinterest of Vulcans in forming a relationship with him, it is quite logical that he has chosen to actively seek a Terran mate. It is my understanding that his relationship with Nyota is his first.’

Spock’s lip twitched slightly again in his unique smile, ‘I was quite surprised when I learnt of his relationship with Nyota. But, given these considerations, it is logical.’

Spock looked back to Jim, ‘You must understand, Vulcans view relationships in terms of compatibility of which there are many kinds. And we have a looming deadline to finding a mate. Although I myself never considered the possibility of romance with Nyota, if I was actively seeking a mate, conscious of the approaching deadline set by my biology, it is possible I would have considered her compatible enough. She is intelligent and tolerant. We share an appreciation of music. And have complimentary ambitions. It does make me wonder if Nyota attempted to court me the early days of our acquaintance back at the academy. It is quite possible that she did and I was too inexperienced to notice.’

Although Jim knew that Spock’s relationship with Nyota was over, he could feel himself flinch with jealousy at Spock’s description of the two of them as compatible. Ridiculous. They’d been in a relationship for years, of course they were ‘compatible enough’. But he couldn’t help but feel the hot sting of jealousy all the same.

Spock continued, ‘Has his relationship with Nyota ended, Jim? I hope so. It will make things much simpler. If it hasn’t you should still proceed, though more delicately of course. You and Spock are much more than ‘compatible enough’ and your Spock has the right to learn this for himself before he chooses a permanent partner. Regardless, your Spock has had greater relationship experience, and experience with a human as well. It is my hope that, even he is still with Nyota, his greater experience will significantly decrease your courtship time from the four point seven years my Jim endured with patience. Your Spock is also still without a betrothal bond and so will be actively searching for a mate, although he knows from me that he still has a number of years before his time.’

Spock stood, ‘I think that is it for today, Jim. The information I’ve shared with you today will colour the whole of your courtship. Give it some consideration before you seek me out again. Next time, I will give more specific advice. For now, it is time for you to wake up.’

Jim stood too, ‘Thank-you, Spock’

Spock’s hands formed the ta’al and the scene faded from Jim’s mind.


	3. Chapter 3

As much as Jim wanted to hear the very next piece of advice straight away, he knew it would be best to do as Spock asked and to give himself time to digest his new insights. And what heart-breaking insights they were. Jim had long recognised that Spock must carry deep pain and grief. You cannot survive the destruction of your home world and the death of your mother without walking away knowing excruciating loss. But it had never occurred to him that underneath Spock’s confident seemingly impervious exterior there may be a fundamental sense of insecurity, of deep personal shame. 

Jim found himself watching Spock’s daily brilliance and pondering how someone so utterly incredible could possibly feel inadequate. But then he had to admit to himself that he knew exactly how. He could see it so clearly. In so many subtle ways the rest of the crew gave constant messages that Spock wasn’t human enough. How ridiculous! To encounter a being so unique and not just unique but unique in a way that made him utterly brilliant and to demand that he be something so ordinary, so common as a mere human. 

Jim recalled with regret times when he himself had measured Spock by human standards and judged him for it, rather than recognising the wonder of Spock just as he is. It was painful to recognise that he may have contributed to Spock’s sense of insecurity. He swore that he would never make that mistake again and that he would find a way to communicate his acceptance to Spock before moving on to the next ‘mental tape.’

As the days clicked by, he found an opportunity. They were planet side, one of several days spent collecting samples of vegetation from an as yet unexplored planet, and he found himself alone with Spock, acting as look out while Spock collected and catalogued the next batch of samples. He knew they were well out of eyeshot of the rest of the crew and they often used opportunities like this to chat.

‘Spock,’ Jim began nervously, ‘There’s something I’d like to tell you.’

‘I’m listening, Captain,’ Spock answered continuing to collect the samples.

Jim cleared his throat, ‘You do know, don’t you, that I don’t expect you to be anything that you’re not?’

Spock’s brow furrowed deeply and he paused in his duties to look up at Jim, ‘Captain, it would be most illogical for you to expect anyone to be anything that they are not.’

Jim barked with laughter, ‘Of course it would. What I mean though is…well… you are unique, Spock. The best of the Vulcans and the best of humanity and, I, well, I like you like that. Both as my first officer and as my friend.’

Spock’s mouth opened slightly closed and opened again, ‘I see.’

‘Okay,’ Jim smiled.

Spock turned back to the vegetation and busied himself with the samples for several minutes in silence. Jim felt restless. Part of him wanted to demand more from Spock, to check that he had understood his message. But wasn’t that just judging Spock by human standards again? No, he wouldn’t do that.

Spock’s brow furrowed again and he looked up, ‘Jim, may I enquire as to your reasons for expressing this to me now?’

Jim sighed, running his hand through his hair, ‘Oh, I dunno. I guess I was just thinking that sometimes it might’ve seemed that I wanted you to be more human or something. Damn, I actually have acted like that in the past, haven’t I? I’m sorry. I’m an idiot. That’s not what I think now. It is not how I want to be with you…’ Jim sighed, ‘I want you just as you are.’

Jim flushed as he recognised his accidental double entendre but he forced himself to not be distracted by his own embarrassment. He held a steady gaze with Spock as Spock considered his words.

Spock lifted an eyebrow, ‘I appreciate that, Jim.’

Jim grinned widely knowing that his point had definitely gotten across. 

That evening Jim felt ready to access the next message from the older Spock and was keen to hear the first piece of specific advice. He was, in fact, a little too keen and he found himself tossing and turning in bed for nearly an hour before he finally managed to drift into sleep. 

‘Hello, my old friend,’ the deep voice of the older Spock welcomed him.

He opened his eyes to the familiar scene- sitting with the older Spock at a campfire under a blanket of stars. 

‘What do you have for me this time, Spock?’ Jim asked, even though he knew Spock couldn’t actually hear him, ‘I’m ready for that specific advice you promised. How do I seduce you?’

Spock lifted an eyebrow, ‘No doubt you are enthusiastic about hearing my advice tonight, Jim. I can imagine so clearly what you must look like right now, showing that same boundless energy that you always find right before a mission. Well, as promised I am giving specific advice tonight, not merely offering information and insights. Tonight is the first step in a plan that I hope might culminate in you winning over your t’hy’la.’ 

Jim could barely contain himself. 

Spock cleared his throat, ‘Vulcans do not engage in casual relationships or sexual liaisons. All relationships are formed with the intention of becoming bonded, or with the intention of exploring compatibility for bonding. This isn’t merely cultural. It is an understandable side-effect of being a telepathic species where our telepathy is enhanced through touch. For touch telepaths, the physical intimacy of sexual activity also comes with deep mental intimacy. We cannot fully control our mental shields during sex, Jim, not between ourselves and our partner at least. This alone makes casual sexual activity undesirable. But add to this cultural factors, like the fact that we are a deeply private people with an ingrained habit of avoiding or admitting to emotional vulnerability… Well, you can understand why casual relationships are not attractive to us.’

Spock looked towards Jim, ‘Although I was incredibly inexperienced, I did recognise that Jim at times regarded me with sexual, even romantic interest. However, I believed that his interest was in a casual encounter only. He had… somewhat of a reputation. I realise now that this reputation was entirely undeserved. His history of passionate and short-lived romance wasn’t due to any desire on his part to experience a string of short-term affairs, but rather, it was a natural result of his deeply romantic nature. He longed for a true partner so deeply that he kept deluding himself that he had found a suitable partner when he had not. Your reputation I think is a little more deserved?’

Jim flushed and squirmed a little.

Spock lifted an eyebrow, ‘Given the differences between your early life and that of my own Jim, it is quite understandable. And we come to the practical advice. You need to tell Spock clearly and unambiguously that you are no longer interested in casual encounters and are seeking a long-term partnership. Do not yet speak of your designs upon him, just make it clear that you are ready to commit.’

Jim nodded to himself, ‘Okay I can do that.’

Spock’s lips quirked slightly at the side in his own special smile, ‘Until the next step, Jim.’

And with that the scene faded and Jim found himself once more in his bed.


	4. Chapter 4

Jim spent some time considering the best way to raise his desire for a long-term relationship while ensuring that it still felt like a natural conversation. After a couple of days he thought of a natural way to bring it up and decided that the best time to do so would be during their next chess match. It wasn’t unusual for their chess games to contain bursts of conversation in between moves, and it wasn’t unusual for some of those conversations to address more personal topics. 

It was Spock’s turn to host the match in his quarters. Although Spock always turned the temperature down from Vulcan norms to better suit Jim, it was still the warmest room in the ship. Visiting Spock always reminded Jim of going on a summer holiday. Spock already had the board set up when Jim arrived for their game. Jim waited until they were several moves in before he initiated a burst of conversation, and steered it his way. 

‘Spock?’ Jim asked as Spock moved his bishop.

‘Yes?’ Spock replied his deep brown eyes meeting Jim’s.

‘I’ve changed a lot in the past few years, haven’t I?’ Jim asked.

‘Agreed,’ Spock replied, ‘You have grown into your role as Captain.’

Jim grinned widely, ‘I’m glad you think so, Spock, especially since you were once so skeptical of my ability to do so.’

‘Jim, as I have repeatedly said…’ Spock began but Jim interrupted him.

‘No, no, don’t say it again, Spock. I’m only teasing you,’ Jim laughed, ‘Anyway, I was thinking of how I’ve grown in other ways too, as a person I mean.’

‘To what are you referring?’ Spock asked, his brow creasing in interest.

‘Well,’ Jim sighed running his hand through his hair, ‘One obvious area is relationships. I used to be wary of commitment, but now, I’d like nothing more than a steady long-term relationship. With the right person, of course.’

‘Indeed,’ Spock replied a single brow raising in surprise, ‘I had noticed the frequency of your engagement in indiscreet romantic liaisons had dropped steadily over the years. In fact, the most recent indiscretion that I noted was 11.5 months ago. But I was working on the assumption that you had merely learned the value of discretion, as fitting for a Starship Captain.’

Jim laughed heartily, ‘Oh, you noticed did you? Taking note of my romantic entanglements are you, Spock?’

Jim was satisfied to see that Spock flushed a light green as he replied, ‘Jim, you know I have an eidetic memory and I can’t help but accurately recall any situations that I observe. And it is your turn.’

Jim smiled as he reached across the board and moved his rook, ‘Well, for the record, yes I have also come to value discretion. But it isn’t just that. The steady drop in romantic liaisons that you’ve noticed is genuine, not just me being more discrete. And lately, well, I want to focus on building something long-term with the right partner. I’ve grown-up, I guess.’

Initially, Spock didn’t reply. He merely stared thoughtfully at the board as if his mind was again fully on the game. But as he reached out to move a pawn he spoke carefully, ‘I have only ever been interested in long-term prospects. Since the relationship between Nyota and myself ended, I have once again found myself seeking the right person for a partnership.’

‘Hmm…’ Jim replied, keeping his eyes on the board and trying to appear more relaxed than he felt as he asked, ‘Any luck so far?’

Spock paused for a moment, as if considering the best wording, ‘I remain single at present.’

Jim moved his knight and the conversation lapsed, both of them returning to the game. 

Late that night as he reflected on his execution of this latest step in the plan, Jim was thrilled. This seduction was going very well indeed, Jim thought, as he recalled the faint green blush dusting Spock’s face. He lay in bed and grinned to himself as he drifted off to sleep, looking forward to hearing the next step in the plan. 

He opened his eyes to the familiar crackling fire and looked up to see the older Spock standing nearby gazing up at the stars. Spock turned to him, ‘We camped here once, my Jim and I. One of my favourite memories.’

He sighed and sat down. 

‘Well, time for another step in the plan, isn’t it, Jim? I’ve already explained that Vulcans understand relationships in terms of compatibility. My Jim and I were compatible in many ways, as you are with your Spock. There is, however, one form of compatibility that is prized above all others within Vulcan society and that is mental compatibility, the telepathic compatibility of the minds. It is quite logical that such compatibility is so highly valued, as Vulcan partnerships are defined by the creation of a telepathic bond. The more compatible the minds, the stronger, deeper and ultimately, more satisfying the bond will be. Jim, our minds are highly compatible, to a rare degree.’

Jim nodded along with the older Spock, wondering how he was to reveal their mental compatibility to his Spock.

‘I do not think your Spock is aware of your mental compatibility. If he had initiated a meld with you, I would have felt it through our bond. I suspect that even if some time has passed since my death, it is unlikely that he has melded with you to date. I was extremely cautious about melding with or even in the presence of humans for some time. If Spock melds with you then he will instantly know of your high degree of mental compatibility and will, if he isn’t doing so already, begin to consider you a potential bondmate. It would be illogical not to do so. I suggest that you find a reason related to ship’s business for the meld.’

Jim grinned, thinking through plausible excuses, more than a little excited by the prospect of sharing such mental intimacy with his Spock. 

Spock stood again, ‘Good luck, Jim.’

And with that the scene faded and Jim found himself stretching and yawning in his bed.


	5. Chapter 5

Jim pondered how to initiate a meld with Spock as he completed his morning routine. At first he thought it would be difficult to come up with a plausible reason for Spock to meld with him. But, as he kept considering it, it was actually incredibly logical. In fact, he really should have asked to explore Spock’s telepathic abilities as his Captain anyway and now that he was going to be doing exactly that he wondered why it hadn’t occurred to him before. After all, he’d had experience firsthand with a meld at the hands of the older Spock so he understood the potential usefulness of it and didn’t fear it.

Remembering the meld with the older Spock he shivered a little in anticipation. The truth was, in spite of the horror of their situation at the time, the meld had felt good, really good. Like coming home. He had always assumed that melds just felt that way, but now he realised that the blissful feelings was probably because they were so compatible. Oh, how good will it feel to have his Spock in his mind… 

Jim strode off to the bridge with a spring in his step. He found Spock already on the bridge and at his station. As Jim sat in the command chair, Spock strode over. ‘Status, Spock?’  
‘We are currently at warp seven. Estimate arrival in 1.3 hours. Science team is currently preparing for efficient sample collection.’

‘And security?’

‘Also in preparation.’ 

‘Excellent. I have a general strategic issue I’d like to discuss with you. Would now work?’ Jim asked.

Spock raised an eyebrow in curiosity, ‘Indeed.’

Jim and Spock moved smoothly off the bridge to the adjacent meeting room, Jim calling out as they did so, ‘Sulu, you have the conn. Spock and I are in a brief strategy meeting. We can be disturbed.’

The door to the meeting room whooshed closed behind them and Jim sat opposite Spock, admiring the way his eyes sparkled warmly when he was curious.

‘Spock,’ Jim began, ‘I have realised that there’s a potential strategic advantage that we have consistently overlooked. I’d like to explore that now.’

Spock’s raised a single eyebrow in surprise, ‘I am not aware of any strategic advantage that we have overlooked. To what are you referring?’

Jim smiled, ‘Your telepathic abilities.’

Spock froze, clearly taken aback, ‘I see.’

Jim continued in a reassuring tone, ‘To be clear, I’m not wanting to make you uncomfortable, Spock. I’d like to understand better what exactly your abilities are. I’d like us to consider, as a command team, situations in which your abilities may be used to our strategic advantage and to understand the limits to their use. That includes any limits you think are necessary from an ethical standpoint or from a view to ensuring your own comfort and safety.’

Spock’s brow creased as he considered Jim’s argument, ‘It is logical for us to explore any potential strategic advantage.’

Jim grinned, ‘Wonderful. So let’s see if I understand your abilities correctly. You can initiate a meld with any sentient creature, correct? And during the meld you can experience directly their thoughts and feelings as well as choose share your own?’

Spock continued to look slightly uncomfortable about the topic of conversation. However, he had also clearly yielded to the logic of having the conversation and so he answered, ‘That is correct, Captain. Melds vary in depth as well. It is possible to meld in such a way that the privacy of both parties is maintained, with only the thoughts and feelings that are willingly shared actually being shared.’

‘Wonderful. That’s good to know. You can pick up on the thoughts and feelings of others even without a meld too, can’t you? Through touch?’

Spock answered carefully, ‘It is possible to a degree. However, to Vulcans privacy is highly valued. We…do not touch as readily as humans. We also maintain mental shields at all times to minimise accidental transfer of thoughts.’

Jim nodded, ‘That’s what I thought. And does a meld require a lot of effort? Does it put you in danger?’

‘The effort of the meld depends upon the compatibility of the two minds. It may require a great deal of effort, yes. I would only be in danger if I initiated a meld with an unwilling participant or the participant attempted a telepathic attack during the meld.’

‘Okay, that’s good to know,’ Jim said, ‘and your personal abilities?’

Spock merely raised an eyebrow at this.

Jim laughed heartily, ‘Exemplary, as usual. So, limitations on their use?’

Spock nodded, ‘It is considered a grave offence to meld without consent.’

‘And that would put you in danger too, right?’ Jim asked.

‘Correct, Captain.’

‘Alright, no melding without consent.’ Jim repeated, ‘Anything else?’

‘Eighty nine percent of humans are fearful of melds. Fear of telepathy is common to all psi-null species,’ Spock answered. 

‘Doesn’t that come back to consent?’

‘My point is, only eleven percent of humans are likely to consider consenting to a meld. Further, the eighty nine percent of humans who exhibit fear of telepathy may show fear just from witnessing a meld.’

‘Ah,’ Jim pondered this, ‘and that’s why you haven’t used your abilities to date, isn’t it?’

Spock nodded, ‘Affirmative. It would undermine crew morale if they came to fear their first officer. I have found it best to down-play my telepathic abilities.’

‘Alright,’ Jim acknowledged, ‘there’s a level of discretion required, then.’

‘Indeed.’

‘Okay, so potential strategic uses given those limitations?’ Jim asked.

Spock considered this, ‘I could use the abilities to facilitate communication with other telepathic species or with non-verbal life forms. If I did so with discretion I don’t think it would instill fear in the crew.’

Jim nodded, ‘Good. That would be useful at times. Anything else?’

Spock’s brow creased as he thought, ‘Negative, Captain.’

‘Well,’ said Jim, ‘I can think of another use. I’m not fearful of melding and I’m happy to consent. In some situations, a meld between us would allow for us to pass crucial and complex information to each other in a highly efficient and accurate manner and one that would evade any attempts to monitor us. I could even see the usefulness in you simply lowering your mental shields with me at times.’ 

Spock’s eyebrow shot up, ‘You are not afraid that I would invade your privacy?’

Jim laughed, ‘Of course not. You just said that you can meld in such a way that the privacy of both parties is protected, didn’t you? I’ve trusted you with my life many times, Spock, trusting you with my mind is no big deal.’

‘I see.’

‘I think we should try a meld between us,’ Jim suggested, ‘So we can explore first-hand how it works.’

Spock nodded, ‘Very well.’

‘Let’s try it after our shift,’ Jim said, ‘That way if it is effortful for you, or a strange experience for me we both have time to recover before we are on duty again. I’ll come to your quarters?’

‘Affirmative.’

Jim and Spock both headed back to the bridge. Jim was delighted in his success at convincing Spock to meld with him and couldn’t wait for their shift to end. 

Finally it ended and he nervously entered Spock’s quarters. He got the sense that Spock was a bit nervous too though he didn’t know how he knew it. 

‘Sit down, Captain,’ Spock said.

Jim sat, ‘Jim, please. We are off-duty.’

‘Very well, Jim. Are you certain you consent to this meld?’ Spock asked.

‘Yes. I trust you, Spock. I’m not afraid.

Spock nodded, ‘I will initiate the meld now. I will need to be in contact with your face. I will show you a memory of mine first. Then you may show me something.’

‘Alright, Spock,’ Jim grinned, closing his eyes.

Spock moved close to Jim his fingers delicately touching the meld points on Jim’s face as he whispered, ‘My mind to your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts…’

Jim felt himself washed away in that blissful feeling of coming home. He opened his eyes and found himself standing stand by side with Spock who was petting a creature that looked like an enormous cat, or maybe a bear, with a slick brown coat of fur and two large fangs, one of which was broken at the tip. Jim wondered just what he was seeing and he immediately heard Spock answer in his mind, ‘It is a sehlat. A pet I had as a child. His name is I-Chaya. You may speak to me in your mind, Jim. Just deliberately will for me to hear a particular thought and I will.’

Jim grinned and thought, ‘I didn’t know you liked animals!’

Jim felt a wave of what he recognised as amusement. Again, he felt Spock’s thoughts, ‘you don’t need to push quite that hard. You are shouting.’

‘Whoops. Sorry. I didn’t know you liked animals. That better?’

‘Affirmative, much better, Jim. It is logical to hold deep respect for all sentient creatures in their infinite diversity.’

‘And I suppose petting them like that is a matter of logic too?’ Jim thought deliberately allowing his own amusement to show to Spock.

‘He was a loyal pet. It is logical to show him affection.’ Spock maintained.

‘Well,’ Jim thought, ‘I know what I want to show you.’

‘Very well.’

The scene dissolved as Jim thought of a favourite childhood pet. A big old ginger cat appeared in Jim’s arms. 

Jim could feel delight radiating from Spock. Jim thought, ‘This is Bobby. He just showed up one day. A stray. I adopted him. Well, snuck out food scraps for him anyway. Really, Bobby belonged to himself.’

Spock reached out carefully and petted Bobby and Bobby purred. 

‘He likes you,’ Jim thought.

‘I admit I find him most agreeable too’ Spock thought.

Jim found the sight of Spock carefully doting upon Bobby utterly adorable but he carefully kept this thought to himself and he figured from Spock’s lack of reaction that he was successful in doing so.

‘I’ll end the meld now,’ Spock thought.

Although disappointed to be leaving the blissful feelings behind, Jim deliberately projected his consent. At once the scene dissolved. Jim found himself back in Spock’s quarters and he opened his eyes to find Spock still standing close to him with the slightest of smiles playing about his lips. He looked like he was in a bit of a daze.

‘How did we do? Was that a lot of work for you?’ asked Jim.

‘Negative,’ Spock answered in a whisper, ‘it was effortless and quite pleasant. We are unusually compatible.’ 

Suddenly, Spock seemed to come back to himself, his features smoothing once again into a neutral expression and stepping carefully away from Jim, ‘That is, your plan of strategically using melding to facilitate communication between us will be greatly enhanced by our natural compatibility.’

‘So this experiment was a success?’

‘I believe that is what I said.’

Jim smiled.

‘Captain, excuse me, but I require a period of meditation.’

‘I thought you said it was effortless, Spock?’ Jim asked.

‘It was,’ Spock answered carefully, ‘However, I need to focus on rebuilding my shields.’

‘Will you need to do that everytime?’ Jim asked.

‘Negative,’ Spock answered.

‘So why this time?’ Jim asked.

Spock considered this carefully, ‘It is likely due to the fact that I haven’t melded with another in 2.4 years…’ he paused slightly, as if considering whether to share more, ‘coupled with our natural compatibility…’

‘But you won’t need to do it everytime we meld?’

‘Negative,’ Spock replied, ‘I will adjust.’

‘Fair enough,’ Jim smiled, ‘Well, good night, Spock.’

‘Good night, captain.’

Jim left Spock’s quarters with a wide grin on his face. Well that step was a success too. He wondered what was next. Climbing into bed in willed himself to experience the older Spock’s next message. 

‘Welcome back, Jim,’ the older Spock said warmly.

Jim sighed at the pleasure of being once again the older Spock’s presence. 

‘We have made great progress towards our goal, I think, Jim,’ Spock said, ‘If Spock knows that you are seeking a long-term committed partnership and he knows that you are highly mentally compatible, he will be evaluating you as a prospective partner. Any Vulcan would be. I find it is time to shift our tactics.’

Spock paused, gazing at the sky and Jim’s gaze followed his to look at the stars too. Spock continued, still looking at the sky, ‘It would be advantageous to ensure that your Spock is consciously aware of his sexual attraction to you at this time in a way that he cannot easily deny. I find myself inclined to share with you a specific piece of information that you would normally only find out after you became intimate with Spock. But I must emphasize, it is to be used with care and discretion. If Spock were made to feel humiliated at this point it could undermine our careful work.’

Jim’s heart was beating fast as Spock looked back to him and sighed, ‘I trust you with this. Jim, you would understand that Vulcans are touch telepaths, and that physical contact through the hands is particularly effective in initiating telepathic contact. Our hands are also more physically sensitive than that of humans. As a result, in the right situation with the right person, stimulation of the hands may induce a sexual response. Please don’t misunderstand, our hands are not sexual organs as such. It is similar to human responses to oral contact though perhaps more intense. The mouth for a human may be a highly sexual area, even though at others times it is not a sexual area at all. The hands may be highly sexual or not sexual at all for Vulcans, depending on the situation. We can make use of this characteristic in a subtle way to bring into your Spock’s conscious awareness that he is attracted to you sexually. It would need to be done in private and I would not suggest that you attempt to touch his hands at this stage. Just as you wouldn't, say, stick your tongue down his throat just yet? Instead, I think a visual display would be most appropriate. I recall that my own Jim once developed a special fondness for sticky candies when he discovered that watching him lick the residue from his fingers had a particular effect on me. Perhaps you would enjoy consuming some sticky candies yourself, Jim?’

Spock quirked an eyebrow at this and Jim laughed. This next step was going to be a fun one!


	6. Chapter 6

The first thing Jim did upon waking was to look at the candy options available through the replicator. He found a few good sticky options including toffees and hard boiled sweets. He replicated several different types and tested them out. Perfect- they left a nice sticky residue just waiting to be licked! An image of Spock himself licking the residue off popped into Jim’s head and he shivered in delight. Maybe one day… 

Jim smiled in anticipation. This was the kind of seduction he was skilled at. The key would be to create the perfect visual for Spock without any hint that that was what Jim was trying to do and without making Spock think that his own reaction was under scrutiny. Jim wanted Spock to feel comfortable enough to privately enjoy the visual to the fullest. And the timing couldn’t be more perfect. There was a huge backlog of reports. Who knew reports could be exciting? He mixed the candy together in a single bowl and left it on his desk.

Towards the end of his shift he called Spock over, ‘Spock?’

Spock quickly moved from the science station towards the Captain’s chair, ‘Yes, Captain?’

Jim sighed and ran his hand through his hair, ‘We’ve got a backlog of reports again. What do you say we try to get through them together?’

Spock nodded, ‘An excellent suggestion, Captain. We operate at 22.5% improved efficiency when we do the reports together.’

Jim smiled warmly, ‘you mean I do, don’t you?’

Spock raised a single eyebrow, ‘It is true that you account for the majority of the effect. I suspect you have a tendency to become distracted when you attempt the reports on your own.’

Jim chuckled, thinking that today Spock might be the one to be distracted while doing reports for once, ‘True. It is must less painful together too. Shall we say in my quarters, immediately after the shift?’

Spock nodded, ‘that would be acceptable, Captain.’

Shift soon ended and they strode to Jim’s quarters together discussing the best strategy for getting through the reports. With decisions made as to who was going to start with what they sat, or rather Spock elegantly sat and Jim slumped, at Jim’s table with PADDs in hand.

Jim jumped back up, ‘Did you want a drink or something before we begin, Spock?’

‘I do not require refreshment at this time, Captain,’ Spock replied.

‘Jim, please, our shift is over,’ Jim corrected.

‘Very well, Jim,’ Spock replied.

Jim moved the bowl of candy from his desk to the table they were working at together, ‘I replicated some old-fashioned Terran candy earlier, you know, sweets? Help yourself if you want some.’

‘Terran sweets to not agree with me, Captain,’ Spock answered before lifting his eyebrow slightly and adding, ‘I suspect McCoy would not approve?’

Jim snorted, ‘Bones is a hypocrite. He can eat all the salad he wants, he still drinks enough alcohol to kill a small horse.’

‘Indeed,’ Spock said, his eyes lighting up with what Jim recognised as a smile. 

‘Well,’ Jim said, ‘Let’s get to it.’

Jim focussed on simply getting through the reports for a good hour or so, letting Spock get comfortable in the situation. When he finally felt that sufficient time had passed he carefully reached out and took a sticky candy, put it in his mouth sucked and chewed, and reached out for a second one, deliberately rolling it in his fingers for extra stickiness. He carefully kept his eyes on his PADD the whole time. He reached out for one more, again rolling it delicately in his fingers, now covered with the sweet sticky residue and popped it in his mouth, sucking and chewing. 

He groaned as if the candy was the most delicious thing he’d ever tasted, ‘Sure you don’t want one, Spock? They are really good.’

Spock’s gaze flicked up from his PADD to meet Jim’s, ‘No, Captain, Terran sweets don’t agree with me.’

Jim smiled. Attention captured. Time to move in for the kill. 

‘Well you’re missing out,’ Jim laughed.

Spock opened his mouth, no doubt to point out how illogical it was to claim someone was missing out on something they didn’t wish to have in the first place but Jim didn’t let him speak, continuing with, ‘they are a bit sticky though,’ before he began to slowly lick down his index finger.

Spock faltered. It was an adorable sight but Jim determinedly fixed his gaze back on his PADD as if he had no idea of the effect his actions were having on Spock. As Jim’s tongue made it all the way down his index finger he slipped the finger in his mouth and sucked hard. He could swear he heard Spock’s breathing speed up slightly. He slowly licked and sucked each finger in turn, keeping his eyes on his PADD. He could see Spock in his peripheral vision, just enough to know that Spock’s gaze was still on him. The gratuitous display over, Jim returned to his reports as if he had no knowledge of what the display could mean to Spock.

Jim allowed another half an hour to roll by before carefully reaching out for another candy. He continued like that until the reports were completed. Interweaving time focussing on the reports with bursts of candy eating followed by hand licking and sucking. He always made sure he kept his gaze on his own PADD while he licked or sucked his own fingers, leaving Spock free to watch and enjoy. But he snuck peaks at Spock while he was busy with the reports and was delighted to see that Spock’s cheeks were dusted with a light greenish tinge. 

As they finished the last report, Jim smiled, ‘Well, it is a relief that’s over. I’m going to replicate myself some dinner. Would you like to eat with me?’

Spock quickly shook his head, his face still tinged green, ‘No, Jim. I am in need of meditation. I will take my leave now.’

‘Fair enough,’ Jim grinned, ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’

Spock nodded his expression stilted and he stood carefully. Jim noticed that he held his PADD over his groin as he stood and quickly exited through their shared bathroom to his own quarters. As Spock’s door to the bathroom shut Jim could hear the privacy lock engage.

Jim grinned widely. Oh, that worked. That worked so well. Better than Jim had hoped. That wasn’t just a bit titillating for Spock, he was horny. No wonder his counterpart had developed a fondness for sticky candy. And the fact that Spock reacted that way to Jim’s display, well according to the older Spock, it meant that he was attracted to Jim. Spock wanted him. 

Jim wondered what Spock was doing right now. He’d said that he was going to meditate, but surely he wouldn’t just meditate a hard-on away? Surely he’d take matters into his own hands first? Jim’s mind was filled with images of Spock, hand wrapped around his cock, maybe even sucking at his own fingers while he imagined that it was Jim sucking them… 

Oh… now Jim had a hard-on of his own to deal with. He made his way to his bed shedding his clothes and ordering the computer to turn the lights down. He lay on his bed stroking himself, imagining Spock in his own quarters doing the same, and quickly brought himself to release.

As the afterglow faded he replicated himself some pasta for dinner and readied himself for bed. That was his favourite step in the seduction plan yet. He pondered what would be next. 

Drifting off to sleep, he would soon find out.

‘Well, Jim,’ the older Spock’s warm, gravelly voice echoed through his mind, ‘I trust you are enjoying our plan so far?’

Jim opened his eyes to the familiar campfire scene and smiled, ‘Best step so far, Spock.’

The older Spock quirked his eyebrow seemingly in reply.

‘I imagine that the clear confirmation of Spock’s attraction to you has filled you with confidence. The next step, Jim, is to give that same confidence to Spock. I found the idea that my Jim was attracted to me utterly ridiculous. I dismissed so many subtle signs as my own imaginings. Why would Jim Kirk want me? It was unbelievable. I hope your own Spock, with his previous experience, is a little more confident. But I suspect not by much. We need to make your sexual attraction to Spock obvious, something he cannot dismiss. As insecure as I was, I was always a scientist, and I wouldn’t have been able to dismiss clear and obvious empirical data.’

Jim frowned in thought, wondering where Spock was going with this. 

‘Here we can make use of superior Vulcan hearing. Did you know that Spock is capable of hearing all activities within your shared bathroom from his own quarters? And even some activities within your quarters? Do not be alarmed, Vulcans deeply value privacy and are quite capable of tuning out auditory stimulation that is not pertinent to them. He no doubt tunes out your activities, as I did with my own Jim, giving you full privacy.’

Spock’s mouth quirked slightly in his tiny smile, ‘But we can disrupt that. Jim, have you ever been in a crowded room with many conversations happening at once, unable to follow any of them, and then, a particular sound cuts through all of that and gets your attention whether you want it to or not, because someone has just said your name?’ 

Jim nodded still trying to piece together the older Spock’s plan.

‘If you were to say his name while in your bathroom this would draw his attention whether he wants it to or not. If you kept saying it multiple times his attention would be drawn again and again to the auditory stimuli you were providing. And he would be forced to overhear exactly what you were doing at the time.’

The pieces suddenly slid together and Jim grasped the next step in the plan. He spluttered in mock outrage, ‘wait, you want me to jerk off in our bathroom, calling out Spock’s name again and again, knowing he can overhear everything I’m doing? First the hand thing and now this! Spock, you kinky bastard!’

Spock sighed and lifted one eyebrow, ‘I anticipate your reaction and I ask you to remember who exactly schooled me in the erotic arts. I’m well aware that you won’t find this step onerous, will you, Jim?’

Jim laughed heartily and Spock’s mouth twitched in his characteristic smile, ‘Until next time, Jim.’


	7. Chapter 7

Jim decided to give Spock a few days to get over his gratuitous hand display before he pushed him over the edge again with the next step in the plan. Besides, he wanted to wait for just the right situation. He had to know, for certain, that Spock was in his quarters. And he wanted to see Spock soon afterwards so he could observe his reaction.

After nearly week, the perfect opportunity came. Jim and Spock were heading back to their quarters after what should have been a simple diplomatic meeting but had turned out to involve a lot of running and quick-thinking. They already had plans for a chess game in Spock’s quarters but after all the running Jim really needed to freshen up first.

Jim grinned at Spock as they boarded the turbo lift, ‘Mind if I take a quick shower before our game, Spock?’

‘That is no inconvenience to me,’ Spock replied, ‘I’ll begin on my report while I wait for you.’

Jim nodded, his eyes gazing over Spock from top to bottom, ‘How come you’re so perfect?’

‘Captain?’ Spock asked the tips of his ears turning a light green.

Jim blushed his eyes darting away from Spock, ‘I mean I’m a mess, in desperate need of a shower and you look as fresh and perfect as you did when we beamed down.’

Spock raised an eyebrow, ‘Vulcans lack sweat glands. In addition, I have noticed that you are 15.4% more likely than any other crew member to attract dirt and foliage to your person when we engage in planet-side activities. You are also 30.5% more likely to tear your clothing. I believe that although you are graceful your excitable and physical personality means that you move in a manner that facilitates greater contact between your person, the planetary surface and objects and well as a greater likelihood of physical engagement with others.’

Jim looked down at himself as they exited the lift and made their way to their quarters. He was, indeed, covered in dirt and foliage but his shirt appeared to be intact, ‘At least my shirt survived this time, eh, Spock?’

Spock shook his head, ‘It did not. It is torn at the back.’

‘What? Oh, damn,’ Jim sighed as he looked behind finding a tear along his lower back, ‘Oh well, another shirt ruined. I’ll freshen up and see you soon, Spock.’

‘Very well, Captain,’ Spock replied going into his own quarters. 

Jim engaged the privacy lock on his door as he entered and quickly stripped off his clothes, stepping into the shared bathroom. He engaged the privacy lock on both of the bathroom doors to be extra cautious and turned on the water shower. This was it- the perfect opportunity. Jim could feel his cock twitch already at the thought of it. 

He stepped under the water and quickly cleaned himself first, contemplating what he was about to do. By the time he had finished cleaning himself he was already half hard. He was also feeling nervous and embarrassed in a way that he hadn’t felt for a long time. So much for his confident playboy reputation. But this was different. This was Spock. 

Jim began to slowly stroke himself. He had exhibitionist tendencies. Tendencies he no doubt shared with his counterpart from the older Spock’s implications. He began to channel his nervousness and embarrassment into excitement and easily did so. It didn’t take long for Jim to become fully hard and for his breathing to become thicker and faster.

‘Oh, Spock…’ he groaned, ‘feels so good, Spock…’

His arousal instantly leapt knowing that he had Spock’s attention. Spock was listening.

‘Oh god, yes Spock…’ Jim moaned, ‘I want you Spock… please Spock…’

His arousal leapt again and he had to deliberately slow down a little to stop himself from finishing too soon. How was Spock reacting to what he was hearing? Was he becoming excited too? Would he touch himself while he listened? Oh, what a thought…

‘Yes… Spock…touch yourself for me, Spock… oh yes…you like it don’t you…’ 

Jim’s pace began to quicken and he lost himself in a fantasy about Spock striding into the bathroom nude, his face flushed green and his eyes predatory. He’d join him in the shower, pushing Jim’s hand away and replacing it with his own mouth. He’d look so gorgeous kneeling before him, sucking Jim off, water cascading down his body. 

‘Yessss… suck me Spock…’ he moaned, ‘suck me off, Spock…’

Then the fantasy changed and Jim imagined Spock pushing him against the wall and sliding his cock into his entrance. Spock would pound him hard as he beat himself off.

‘I want you so bad Spock…’ Jim groaned, ‘please, fuck me, fuck me hard, Spock…’

Jim could feel his orgasm fast approaching, ‘Oh Spock, I’m gonna cum…I’m gonna cum for you…’

‘Oh yes, Spock!’ he exclaimed as he climaxed hard, his cum spurting out into the shower cubicle and washing down the drain. 

Jim collapsed against the wall for a minute or two catching his breath. Jim had never been shy about exploring his sexuality and had sought out many sexually adventurous situations. But that wank in the shower was one of the most erotic experiences of his life. And it was just a wank in Spock’s earshot. Imagine when they actually had sex. Jim shivered in delight. 

Jim exited the shower and towelled himself dry. He deliberately got ready slowly, wanting to give Spock some time to consider what he had heard before he turned up on his doorstep.

He felt his own nervousness and embarrassment return as he made his way to Spock’s quarters hoping that he would not blush, desperately trying to find his own confident swagger. He knocked on Spock’s door and it opened revealing Spock. Spock’s cheeks were lightly dusted with green. His eyes immediately met Jim’s and then quickly darted away.

‘Captain,’ Spock began but then he didn’t continue.

Jim smiled, finding his confident swagger after all now that he had a flustered Spock in front of him, ‘I’m here for the chess game, Spock?’

‘Of course,’ Spock replied, noticeably drawing on his Vulcan controls, ‘come in.’

Jim entered and took a seat at Spock’s table while Spock fetched his chess set.

‘Did you get much done on that report?’ Jim asked nonchalantly.

‘Negative. I was…diverted…’ Spock answered, flushing green as he placed the chess set down on the table.

‘Oh, well, there’ll be time for that later,’ Jim answered.

‘I agree,’ Spock nodded.

‘Am I black or white tonight?’

‘Black,’ Spock replied and they both began to set up the chess board. 

The evening passed smoothly. In many ways it was a normal game of chess with the usual friendly banter. But every so often Jim noticed Spock quietly looking at him, a light green flush rising to dust his face and ears. He also noticed that Spock’s game was ever so slightly off, allowing Jim to snatch an easy victory. 

By the time the evening came to a close, Jim had come to the conclusion that the step was a success. Spock had clearly overheard and was considering the ramifications of it all. It had affected him in all the right ways. And yet, any awkwardness there could have been between the two of them was quickly dissolved. Surely that was a good sign too. 

Jim stripped down to his boxers for bed. He was tired but keen to hear the next step in the plan. He crashed into bed, willing himself to the familiar campfire with the older Spock. 

‘Well, Jim,’ a gravelly voice began, ‘I trust you enjoyed that?’

Jim opened his eyes to see the older Spock with a twinkle in his eye and a tiny smile playing about his lips.

‘You knew I would…’ Jim muttered smiling.

‘Time to change tactics again, Jim. Your Spock now has access to all the necessary pieces of information to draw the logical conclusion that you would be a highly compatible couple. Yet, Jim, I do not share your quick-thinking, fast-acting personality. You no doubt realised your love for Spock in one big intuitive leap, a sudden rush of insight?’

Jim nodded, that was exactly how it had happened.

‘And, having realised it, you would have acted on it fully and without reservation within moments of the realisation,’ Spock continued.

Jim nodded again.

‘Spock, on the other hand, he will need some time to process his discovery. The next two steps involve giving him that time. For this first step, you should flirt with him. Gently but persistently focus your charms on him. I have fond memories of my Jim’s subtle flirtatious banter on the bridge and during missions. And of the way he’d look at me, as if I was his whole world…’

The older Spock gazed into the distance, lost in his own memories for a time.

‘And touch, Jim’ Spock continued, looking once more at Jim, ‘Subtly, gently, become closer physically. Do not initiate hand to hand contact. That would be too much. But a hand on his shoulder, standing just a bit closer than friends normally would, allowing any necessary physical contact to linger… Again, I have many cherished memories. You’ll know he is ready for the next step when he begins to reciprocate. When he flirts back, when he initiates physical contact or allows contact to linger past what is necessary. At that point we’ll move to the next step. After that it will be time for the final, bold move, Jim. You are getting close. He is nearly within your grasp. Until next time, Jim.’


	8. Chapter 8

Jim wasn’t sure if this next step was going to be easy or difficult. On one hand it was just flirting, just being touchy-feely. Really, just being his natural self. On the other hand, he’d toned down that aspect of his personality dramatically. In particular, he’d toned it down dramatically with Spock to ensure that he didn’t offend his Vulcan sensibilities. But he’d also toned it down with the rest of the crew too. To Jim, that change had been a necessary part of becoming the captain he wanted to be. He felt like he’d drawn a line between charming and flirtatious, between friendly and touchy-feely and that he’d done his best to stay firmly on the charming and friendly side. 

So he was a little nervous about relaxing that, about allowing his natural flirtatious and touchy-feely side to shine through again. What if he went too far and offended Spock? And then there was the question of what everyone else might think. It was one thing to be flirtatious and touchy-feely with everyone, pushing the boundaries routinely and making the most of it when someone reciprocated. This was different. It was lowering the boundaries with Spock in particular, just Spock. What if the others figured out how he felt? What if they figured it out and Spock ultimately rejected him? That would be a bit humiliating. But that was the deal, wasn’t it? He had to risk his heart to have any chance of capturing Spock’s. And if he had to do it with an audience, well so be it. He could risk being the captain who fell hopelessly in love with his Vulcan first officer and was humiliatingly rejected in front of the whole ship’s crew. If that’s what it took to have a chance at love, well, Jim was willing to risk it.

As it turned out, in spite of all Jim’s worrying, it really was easy. Once he started to relax the boundaries he’d set for himself it felt so natural to flirt with Spock, to reach out and touch him casually. In fact, it felt more natural to be like that with Spock than it had ever felt before. Especially because Spock didn’t make him feel like his advances were in any way unwelcome.

When Jim casually leaned over him, resting his hand on Spock’s back as he asked about the latest sensor readings, Spock didn’t flinch or pull away. He seemed perfectly comfortable with the contact. When Jim allowed his compliments to slip from fully professional to a little more personal Spock, if anything, basked in the praise. It was subtle- a tiny twitch of a grin, a delicately raised eyebrow or a slight green flush to his cheeks. But it was there. Spock clearly welcomed his praise. And when Jim allowed is gaze to linger on Spock, to drink him in, Spock did not react with discomfort. In fact, whenever he noticed Jim’s gaze, he responded by gazing right back, holding his own gaze just a fraction too long for friends and certainly too long for a captain and a first officer. 

Jim gradually relaxed and became more brazen. So when their latest diplomatic mission called for himself, Spock, McCoy and Uhura to beam down to the newest Federation planet for a ceremonial dinner as a culmination of their successful diplomatic negotiations he was not shy about showing his appreciation for Spock’s appearance with a lingering gaze and a comment, ‘Looking good, Spock. You wear your formals well.’

And when Bones piped up with, ‘We’re all in our damned uncomfortable formal uniforms. Do I look good, captain?’ 

Jim didn’t flinch and didn’t break eye contact with Spock as he retorted, ‘It doesn’t suit you as well as it does Spock and you know it, Bones. Unlike you, Spock has dignity and grace.’

Spock’s mouth flinched slightly in a tiny smile and the tips of his ears turned slightly green. Jim grinned widely at the sight, still starting into Spock’s eyes.

Bones snorted, ‘Dignity and grace… I’d just like to wear a shirt that allows me to move by damn arms properly.’

Jim continued to stare into Spock’s eyes.

Scotty coughed loudly, ‘Ah, could we maybe move onto the transporter pad? I cannae do much ‘til you do.’

‘Certainly, Scotty,’ Jim replied, finally breaking his eye contact with Spock as they all moved onto the transporter pad. As they did so he couldn’t help but notice the look that Scotty gave to Nyota and Bones. Ah, well, they were onto him. He found he didn’t care in the slightest. 

The dinner itself was tiresome. Exactly the kind of stiff and formal affair that Jim hated. And, of course, Jim had to spend his time being charming in boring conversations with the planet’s representatives. It was quite tedious when all he wanted to do was talk to Spock. The most he could achieve was to find his eyes across the table during pauses in the conversation. 

As the formal sit-down dinner part of the evening ended, he found himself free to mingle and he naturally looked for Spock. But on route he found himself monopolised by the son of one of the planet’s dignitaries. Truth be told, it was the most interesting conversation he’d had all night but as the son became increasingly flirtatious and obvious in his intentions towards Jim, Jim felt he needed to exit. The distraction of further drinks provided the opportunity for Jim to slip out into the garden for a breath of fresh air. It was a relief to be alone. He wandered into the garden, just out of sight, admiring the alien plants and gazing up at a hauntingly beautiful alien night sky. The three moons, the smallest of which was at least twice the size of the Earth’s moon, were a breathtaking sight. 

Lost in his own thoughts he didn’t even hear someone approaching from behind until he felt a gentle hand on his arm and he recognised the touch straight away. Spock.

‘Captain, are you well?’ Spock asked.

Jim smiled, ‘I’m quite well, thanks, Spock. Just taking a short break.’

Spock nodded and allowed his touch to linger on Jim’s arm. Jim was delighted by the unnecessary physical contact that Spock had initiated. With anyone else, he mightn’t have thought anything of it. But with Spock, every little thing meant something. Spock was flirting with Jim. Eventually Spock lowered his hand and they stood side by side for a time.

‘It is all just so tedious,’ Jim sighed.

‘Indeed,’ Spock agreed, ‘Although you seemed to find livelier company more recently.’

Jim looked towards Spock but Spock’s face was firmly set in his Vulcan mask. Jim sighed, ‘Not my type.’

Spock looked back to Jim with one eyebrow raised.

Jim laughed, ‘Alright, fine. If I was looking for a casual encounter tonight, probably would have been exactly my type. But I’m not interested in that anymore.’

Spock nodded, as if he were satisfied with Jim’s answer. They returned to gazing at the alien sky. Eventually Spock broke the silence, adding as he continued to look at the sky, ‘I find I am not surprised by his interest. You also wear the formal uniform well. Quite…aesthetically pleasing… I believe I’ll re-join the social affair.’

And with that said Spock quickly returned to the celebration, leaving Jim reeling. Oh, Spock was definitely flirting with him. 

Jim floated through the rest of the reception in a daze of happiness. Spock flirted with me. Spock thinks I’m aesthetically pleasing. 

By the time Jim was back on the Enterprise and in his own quarters it was late. Yet, in spite of the late hour, Jim couldn’t wait to hear about the next step from the older Spock. He pulled off his formal uniform with relief and after a quick sonic shower pulled on some boxer shorts and climbed into bed willing himself to hear the next message.

Drifting quickly off to sleep Jim soon found himself back at the campfire, sitting next to the older Spock. The older Spock looked to Jim and raised his eyebrow, ‘The penultimate step, Jim. Our mission is nearly complete.’

Jim grinned widely in excitement. Spock would soon be his. He laughed, ‘Alright then, what is it?’

The older Spock continued, ‘Just a little more thinking time. A little more flirtation. Continue to be your charming self, Jim. But let’s escalate it somewhat. Hand to hand combat is a useful skills set for any Starfleet officer and it is logical that such skills need to be maintained with continued practice. It is also quite logical for the captain and first officer to engage in such practice together, thus avoiding the complexities of rank. My own Jim easily convinced me that such practice was quite logical. Yet, you’d appreciate it involves quite a bit of physical contact? I trust you see the possibilities.’

Jim grinned, he did indeed.

‘Oh, and, Jim?’ Spock continued, ‘I don’t think a shirt is strictly necessary for such activities, do you? My Jim certainly didn’t think so.’

Jim laughed at the deviousness of his counterpart. It was pretty clear that regular sparring practice with his first officer was as much a ruse for his counterpart as it would be for him.

Spock’s mouth quirked slightly in what Jim recognised as a smile, ‘And, ah… you don’t happen you own a pair of tight red gym pants, do you, Jim?’

Spock cleared his throat, ‘Good luck.’

And with that Jim once again awoke in his own bed.


	9. Chapter 9

Jim chuckled to himself as he considered the latest step. The first thing to do was to get his hands on a pair of tight red gym pants. Accessing his replicator, he quickly flicked through the clothing options and found that the standard issue Starfleet gym clothes catalogue did include a particularly tight pair of gym pants as an option. Who knew? And they were, indeed, available in red. Jim pressed the button and he was soon holding the pants. 

Wow, they really were tight. Wearing these pants without a shirt wasn’t going to leave much to the imagination. But he guessed that was the idea. Clearly, the older Spock had enjoyed the sight of his own Jim in these pants or he wouldn’t have recommended it. Jim just hoped he could control himself during their sparring practice. If he reacted physically to the close contact with Spock, well, it would be all too obvious in these tight pants. He flushed at the thought. But maybe that was part of Spock’s plan too. He wondered if that had happened to his counterpart. Jim shook his head and laughed. Spock really was a kinky bastard. 

He packed the pants away and got ready for his shift. The shift itself was quite routine. With the formal dinner, their diplomatic mission was complete and it was time to travel on to their next destination. It would take several days to arrive so today’s shift was all routine maintenance and beginning to slowly prepare for the next mission.

Towards the end of the shift Spock approached Jim to update him on the maintenance activities. As that conversation drew to a close, Jim used the opportunity to segue into asking about the sparring practice, ‘Spock? There’s something else I wanted to raise with you. I could do with some regular sparring practice. I use my hand to hand combat skills pretty regularly on missions and I want to keep up my skills, even continue to improve. But I need I partner and I think that the most appropriate sparring partner for a captain would be the first officer. Well, what do you say?’

Spock raised an eyebrow, ‘An excellent suggestion. It would be beneficial to both of us to ensure that we maintain sufficient combat skills, and I think you are correct, it would be most appropriate, given our rank, for us to spar with each other.’

‘Wonderful,’ Jim grinned, ‘I knew you’d be keen. Are you free after this shift?’

‘Indeed, I am,’ Spock answered.

‘Well let’s begin after the shift then,’ Jim replied, ‘There’s no time like the present.’

Spock’s mouth twitched slightly, ‘Or indeed, no time like in 2.23 hours.’

Jim opened his mouth in mock surprise, ‘Spock, did you make a joke?’

Spock raised his eyebrow but his eyes were warm and open, ‘As you well know, captain, Vulcans are incapable of humour.’

Jim smiled warmly, holding Spock’s gaze, ‘Of course, Spock.’

Eventually, they broke eye contact and returned to their duties but not before their eye contact had lingered to the point of being quietly noticed by the others on the bridge. 

The end of shift came quickly and Jim soon found himself in the gym bathroom changing into his tight red gym pants. He entered the private gym room that he and Spock were using with some trepidation to find Spock already there and warming up with stretches. Spock’s gym clothes were jet black. Like Jim’s pants they were on the tight side but not quite as extreme. And unlike Jim he had chosen to wear a shirt, a tight-fitting short-sleeved black shirt. Damn, but he looked good in all black. His dark hair and eyes stood out all the more against his pale skin. Jim’s breath hitched in his throat. 

Spock looked up and Jim was delighted to see that Spock’s eyes raked over Jim’s body hungrily for a second or two before the Vulcan control slammed down and his face took on a familiar neutral expression. 

‘Captain’ Spock said with a carefully controlled voice, ‘Which techniques would you like to practice?’

‘Well,’ Jim answered, beginning with his own warm up stretches as he did so, ‘Shall we start with freeform sparring? As we identify weaknesses we can practice specific techniques.’

Spock nodded, returning to his own stretches, ‘Very well. I shall, of course, compensate for my increased strength.’

‘Don’t overdo it though.’ Jim replied, ‘I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’d like to come out of tonight uninjured. But don’t handicap yourself either. I have to cope with stronger opponents, that’s just the reality of it.’

Spock nodded, ‘Very well, Captain.’ 

They completed warm up in silence, Jim snatching glimpses at Spock as he did so. Spock in contrast, was carefully avoiding looking at Jim. He seemed to be in what Jim thought of as full Vulcan mode. Really, it was probably even more of a compliment to Jim than if he was snatching glimpses of Jim’s body. 

With warm up complete it was time to spar. They circled each other on the mat, each looking for an opening. Eventually Jim acted, trying for a kick which Spock easily dodged. Spock stayed in a defensive mode, with Jim continuing to try to land a kick or a hit until Spock managed to flip him onto the mat and the first sparring match was over.

‘You wore yourself out, Captain,’ Spock said.

‘I know,’ Jim said breathing hard, ‘You know me too well. You used my personality against me.’

Spock raised an eyebrow, ‘I wasn’t aware that was against the rules.’

Jim laughed, ‘How about this time you attack me?’

‘Very well,’ Spock answered.

They continued to alternate attack and defensive roles and Jim was delighted to emerge victorious several times. He could feel his combat skills sharpen. Damn. Just like trying the meld, this was actually a good command decision. He should have thought of it before. It was also pretty awesome to spend this time with Spock and Jim noticed that Spock relaxed his Vulcan control as the sparring continued, indulging in more friendly banter. 

Of course, Jim also enjoyed the close physical contact. It felt damn good to keep touching Spock and he looked forward to a time when he could touch so readily without a pretext. But, although he relished in the closeness, the physical and mental effort of the sparring itself managed to keep his libido in check. So it seemed they would simply have share a productive and enjoyable sparring practice, without the kind of incidents that he imagined might happen after taking the older Spock’s advice.

But Jim was wrong. As they were nearing the end of their practice session, they found themselves horizontal, rolling around on the mat, each trying to pin the other. Jim was sweaty and they were both breathing hard, their bodies in full contact. And just like that Jim’s libido broke free. He could feel himself start to harden. He had to control the desire to rut against Spock’s body and to tear Spock’s clothes off. 

For a moment Jim thought he had managed to effectively pin Spock down. He was relieved. His control was being tested a bit too much. But it wasn’t to be. Strength won out over technique and Spock flipped him. Jim found himself pinned down with Spock on top. Spock was breathing hard, his eyes closed. Jim tried to move but he couldn’t and God, why was that turning him on all the more? From this position Spock could do whatever he liked to him and he’d be helpless to stop him. His mind flicked through all the delicious things Spock could do. Dammit, he was fully hard now. Stop, mind, stop. Spock’s eyes opened and he looked directly into Jim’s. His pupils were fully blown and there was a look of hunger in this face. He leaned down ever so slightly and for a moment Jim thought he was going to kiss him. But then Spock rolled off him and stood. 

‘I believe we’ve had enough sparring practice for today, Captain.’ Spock said in a carefully controlled voice, his face a perfect Vulcan mask.

Jim nodded still lying on the mat, ‘Sure, Spock. Thanks.’

Spock quickly exited the room and Jim sighed. He waited in the private gym room for his erection to subside enough to brave the gym showers. It was only after a shower, getting back to his quarters and a quick wank, that it occurred to him that Spock was a touch telepath. So not only did Spock probably notice his perfectly obvious hard-on but he probably also picked up on his thoughts. Jim blushed. Yet, he was confident Spock had been turned on too. He could have sworn that Spock had almost kissed him. Ha! Jim mightn’t share the Vulcan’s control of his emotions or physical responses, but of the two of them it was Spock who’d almost lost control of his behaviour.

Jim was confident that the evening’s events counted as a successfully completed step so he willed himself to access his next instructions from the older Spock. He soon drifted off to sleep, his body exhausted from the sparring and his mind settled after the wank, opening his eyes to find himself beside the campfire, looking at an older version of the man he loved.

‘Hello, Jim,’ the older Spock smiled, ‘Welcome back. We find ourselves, Jim, at the final step in the plan. Well, to be honest, this is really two steps in one but we’ll get to that. The very next step is quite simple. It simply requires you to be bold and I know you do that well. It is time to, as the human saying goes, lay your cards on the table? Jim, your instincts will be to do so with a passionate confession of your feelings. I’d advise you to, instead, do this the Vulcan way- with a calm and reasoned statement regarding your compatibility. If you have successfully completed all of the steps so far, and I’m confident that you would have listened to my advice to do so, then I estimate a 98.9% likelihood that your Spock will respond by consenting to a relationship.’

Spock paused, smiling warmly at Jim, ‘your t’hy’la is within reach, Jim. And I am please for you both.’

Jim grinned widely. To think that’s all he now needed to do- to point out their compatibility and ask Spock if he wanted to be more than friends. Sure, it took guts, but he had guts.

Spock continued, ‘the next step is a little trickier. Although I estimate a 98.9% likelihood that you will successfully establish a relationship your Spock, there remains the fact that after my Jim and I first became romantically involved, I ran from him. I was afraid of my own feelings. I was convinced I could not meet my Jim’s emotional needs. I honestly believed he’d be happier without me. We’ve discussed my dreadful error before. Your Spock is different. Yet, even taking our differences into account, I estimate that there is a 64.3% probability that he will also attempt to flee. I think it is likely it will be expressed in a milder, more subtle form of escape. I suspect he will be less stubborn, more easily convinced by you that he is in error. It is also my hope that you will be better equipped to persuade him because you will be prepared. Jim, if he tries to end your relationship, it is not because he does not love you. Do not fear that. It is because he feels deep shame. Because he is convinced that he does not deserve you and cannot make you happy. As best you can, Jim, avoid an emotional scene. That will only make it harder for him to listen. Make a calm and reasoned argument. Convince him that he is in error.’ 

Spock’s eyes welled in tears, ‘And, Jim, please, forgive him. Forgive him as my Jim so generously forgave me. He needs you.’

Jim nodded, his own eyes welling in tears, ‘I will, I will, I promise.’

Spock smiled, ‘Good luck, Jim. You are on your own now. Or rather, you shall soon be with your t’hy’la.’

Jim nodded muttering, ‘Thank-you. Thank-you so much,’ even though he knew the older Spock was no longer alive to hear it.

Spock raised his hand in the ta’al, ‘Live long and prosper, James T. Kirk.’


	10. Chapter 10

Jim paced up and down his quarters as he waited for Spock. This was it. This was it. One short conversation was either going to make him the happiest he’d ever been in his life or crush his heart beyond all repair. He felt overwhelmed by nerves. Damn. How come I can calmly stare down death itself if necessary, in fact, at times even when it isn’t necessary, but the idea of Spock’s rejection tears me apart? 

Jim paused in his pacing and took some deep breaths. He felt himself calm a little. 98.9% likelihood the older Spock had said and Jim trusted Spock implicitly. They were good odds, damn good odds and if he lucked out, well, Spock was worth the heartbreak. He calmed more.

His door chime sounded. It was Spock! And Jim was instantly a bundle of nerves again. 

‘Come in,’ Jim called out.

Spock opened the door and entered, ‘You wanted to see me, Captain?’

Jim took a deep breath, ‘Yes, sit down.’

They both took their seats facing each other.

Jim took another deep breath, ‘And it is Jim. This isn’t about the ship it is…ah…a personal matter.’

Spock raised an eyebrow, ‘I see.’

Jim ran his hand through his hair and laughed nervously, ‘It is hard to know where to begin.’

Spock didn’t seem to know how to respond to that and simply waited patiently.

‘Okay, right, so…’ Jim began, ‘Spock, we make an excellent command team. We both know that. There’s a kind of synergy between us. We are complementary.’

‘Agreed,’ Spock answered carefully, clearly curious about what Jim was going to say.

‘Right,’ Jim nodded, building up the necessary momentum, ‘And we work really well as friends too. You know me better than anyone. Better than Bones even. I think, I mean I hope you know that, Spock.’

Spock nodded, ‘I had reached that conclusion. You also know me better than anyone.’

‘Good. Right,’ Jim continued, ‘So it is about compatibility. We are highly compatible as a command team, as friends…. And, I think, well from my end at least, we are compatible in other ways too…’ Jim swallowed thickly and forced himself to make eye contact with Spock, ‘I mean romantically….as…as…a couple.’

Spock’s brow furrowed in surprise and confusion, ‘Jim, are you saying you wish to pursue a romantic relationship with me?’

‘Yes,’ Jim swallowed thickly, ‘That’s what I’m saying.’

Spock paused for a moment that for Jim felt like an eternity. At last he spoke, ‘Yes, Jim.’

‘Yes?’ Jim asked excitedly his eyes wide, ‘As in yes to a romantic relationship?’

Spock nodded, ‘I find you highly compatible as well, including as a mate. I would also like to pursue a romantic relationship.’

Jim breathed out a sigh of relief and began to grin widely, ‘So that’s it then. We are a couple?’

Spock’s lips quirked slightly in a tiny hint of a smile, ‘Yes, Jim. It would seem so.’

Jim laughed, ‘Sorry I…ah…I was so nervous. I can’t believe you said yes,’ he took another deep breath, his mind still whirling, ‘So, ah do we tell the crew? Or Starfleet command?’

Spock considered this, ‘Ultimately, we should. However, regulation 521.3 states that we have a 60 day grace period in which to do so. I suggest that we allow ourselves to settle into our new relationship before we make our change in status public knowledge.’

‘That makes sense,’ Jim answered finally starting to feel himself again, ‘And, Spock, we can move at whatever pace you are comfortable with, physically, I mean.’

‘We already know each other better than anyone. And I am to understand that you are proposing a committed romantic relationship?’ Spock replied.

‘Yes,’ Jim laughed, ‘Of course- a committed, exclusive romantic relationship.’

‘Then I see no reason to delay,’ Spock answered. 

‘No reason to delay,’ Jim smiled, ‘As much as I want to leap on that open invitation, I should do the responsible thing and tell you first of all that I’m completely clean and I’m certain of that, I’ve had the tests. That said, if you want to take precautions at first I won’t be offended.’

‘I am also clean,’ Spock replied, ‘There’s no need for precautions if you are certain. I trust you, Jim.’

‘Well, then I’m going to kiss you, Spock,’ Jim grinned widely.

‘I would expect so,’ Spock answered his eyes filled with warmth. 

They both stood and Jim quickly closed the gap between them, gazing deeply into Spock’s eyes. He leaned in to Spock and felt him reciprocate in turn until their lips touched. Spock tasted of warmth and spice. Jim explored his mouth greedily, hungrily and was delighted to find that Spock’s passion matched his own. Jim groaned loudly, his hands tracing the contours of Spock’s beautiful body, his tongue exploring his mouth. The feel of Spock’s hands gingerly exploring his own body was utterly exquisite.

It was like a broken dam. All the sexual tension that had been building between them simply flooded them both. Jim was as hard as a rock and pressed up against Spock he could feel that he was too. He began to gently rut up against Spock and felt him shiver in delight and reciprocate with steady thrusting movements of his own. 

‘Oh, Spock…’ he heard himself groan. 

It triggered a moment of awareness and Jim stepped back breathing hard. Spock looked at him hungrily, his face flushed green and his pupils blown wide. 

‘I think we’d better move to the bed,’ Jim laughed, ‘before I utterly disgrace myself.’

Spock raised his eyebrow, ‘I would not be averse to you disgracing yourself.’

‘Oh Spock…’ Jim moaned, ‘I’m trying to regain some control here.’

Spock’s lips twitched slightly in his tiny smile.

‘C’mon,’ Jim said thickly, grabbing Spock’s wrist and guiding him towards his bed, ‘I want your clothes off.’

They fell on the bed, hungrily tugging and pulling at each other’s clothes interrupted by moments of passionate kissing, until they were both naked on the bed. Jims gaze raked hungrily over Spock’s body and he felt Spock’s gaze do the same to his own. 

‘Oh Spock,’ Jim choked, ‘you are so damn beautiful.’

‘You are exquisite, Jim,’ Spock replied.

Jim pushed Spock down on the bed, ‘You are the one with Vulcan control so I get to explore your body first.’

‘Logical,’ Spock whispered breathlessly as Jim began to kiss down his chest, skipping over his hard-on to kiss and lick Spock’s inner thighs. 

Spock was a lot quieter in bed than Jim. He didn’t groan or moan. But he gave away his arousal all the same. His flushed cheeks were flushed green and his breathing hard. As Jim kissed and licked his inner thighs, getting closer to Spock’s erection, licking deep in the line where Spock’s thigh met his body, he could feel a lust that wasn’t his own licking at his mind. 

He recognised Spock’s mental voice within his own mind, ‘Yes…oh Jim…please…oh Jim…’

Spock was groaning telepathically. Damn, that was hot. 

When Jim felt he had teased Spock sufficiently he turned his attention to his cock. It resembled a human penis, except longer and leaner and flushed a deep green. It was also coated in a sticky, sweet-smelling natural lubricant. 

‘You self-lubricate?’ Jim asked.

‘Y-yes,’ Spock breathed as Jim took Spock into his mouth. Spock made a small whimpering sound and began to thrust. Jim felt a wave of wordless pleasure from Spock’s mind. His lubricant was sweet and spicy to taste and Jim enjoyed it. He sucked carefully. He wanted to give Spock pleasure but he didn’t want Spock to cum just yet. Before the point of no return he released Spock’s penis and leaned up for a kiss. Spock kissed him hungrily, his tongue wantonly exploring Jim’s mouth. 

Jim pulled away, ‘Liked that, huh?’

‘Yes, Jim,’ Spock replied.

Jim slipped lower down Spock’s body again, ‘Spock, can I lick your arse?’

‘Yessss…’ Spock hissed and Jim pushed Spock’s legs apart reaching his tongue in to explore Spock’s hole with long, sure licks. Spock whimpered slightly, his hips bucking and his breathing laboured.

Suddenly Spock pushed Jim’s head away and pushed him down on the bed, ‘I must explore you, Jim.’

He began kissing his way down Jim’s body, mimicking Jim’s own actions earlier. Taking Jim’s cock into his mouth he sucked hard and Jim felt himself thrust eagerly and heard himself moan and groan loudly, calling out Spock’s name. 

Good, so damn good. 

‘Stop! Stop, Spock!’ Jim called out.

Spock obediently stopped.

Jim breathed heavily, ‘Sorry, I just, I don’t want to cum just yet.’

Spock nodded pausing to allow Jim to regain control before asking, ‘Jim, may I orally stimulate your anus?’

Jim groaned, ‘Spock, you have the nerdiest dirty talk I’ve ever heard.’

Spock flinched slightly quickly slamming down his Vulcan controls to cover his hurt. 

‘Whoa!’ Jim said scrambling up to look at Spock directly in the eyes, hands cradling his head, ‘Spock, that wasn’t an insult. Didn’t you hear me groan? Please keep talking like that in bed. It is turning me on, okay?’

Spock nodded, allowing his Vulcan control to relax again.

Jim resettled on the bed, ‘Now, please, ask me that question again with the exact same wording.’

Spock’s lips twitched slightly, ‘Jim, may I orally stimulate your anus?’

Jim groaned, ‘Yes, Spock, please…’

Spock leaned down between Jim’s legs, pleasuring Jim’s hole with long, delicious licks as Jim groaned and bucked, until Jim pushed Spock’s head back up, ‘I can’t last much longer, come here, Spock’

Spock gracefully shifted up the bed so that they lay side by side and Jim pushed his body against Spock’s so that their cocks were touching. He groaned loudly and Spock whimpered.

‘Wanna cum like this, that okay, Spock?’ Jim groaned.

‘Yesss, Jim,’ Spock breathed heavily.

‘Oh Spock,’ Jim moaned as he rutted against Spock, looking directly into Spock’s eyes, ‘I’m gonna cum…gonna cum for you…’

Jim’s ejaculate spilled over Spock’s body and Jim moaned his release as Spock continued thrust eagerly. 

Jim sighed in pleasure and leaned in to kiss Spock, ‘Cum for me, Spock, show me, I want to see you cum…’

Spock’s eyes rolled back into his head and he sighed as his own ejaculate spilled over Jim. Jim felt a wave of intense pleasure wash over him mentally as Spock climaxed and projected his feelings telepathically. 

They lay still for a time, gazing deeply into each other’s eyes. 

‘Spock,’ Jim spoke eventually, breaking the silence, ‘that was…absolutely fantastic…’

‘Yes, it was,’ Spock agreed with a slight twitch of his lips. 

‘Hang on, I’ll get something to clean us up,’ Jim said getting off the bed ducking into the shared bathroom. 

He returned moments later with a warm washcloth and proceeded to wipe them both down. Once they were both clean, he slipped back into bed and cuddled up to Spock.

‘Well, we are certainly compatible sexually,’ Jim laughed.

‘I would say highly compatible’ Spock replied.

Jim yawned, ‘Spock, will you stay with me for the night?’

‘Yes, Jim,’ Spock replied.

Jim yawned again, ‘Feeling sleepy.’

‘Then sleep, Jim,’ Spock answered, gently stroking Jim’s face, ‘I’ll be here in the morning.’

Jim snuggled in to Spock’s body and began to relax into sleep. 

In Jim’s sleepy, deliriously happy, post-orgasmic haze it just slipped out without him meaning to say it and without him even recognising that he had said it but it was true all the same, ‘I love you, Spock.’


	11. Chapter 11

Jim woke feeling deeply at peace. He rolled over and opened his eyes to see Spock already dressed in his science blues meditating on one of Jim’s chairs. Jim smiled. How sweet. Spock promised he’d be there in the morning and so he was meditating in Jim’s chair even though it couldn’t have been comfortable. Jim began to get out of bed and his movements brought Spock out of his meditation.

‘Good morning,’ Jim smiled brightly. 

‘Morning, Jim,’ Spock replied tilting his head slightly to the side, ‘Captain, it is 13.6 minutes until Alpha shift.’

‘What?’ Jim answered jumping out of bed, ‘Damn! I slept in. I’ve got to get ready.’

Jim stumbled naked towards the bathroom, calling out to Spock as he went, ‘You’ll come back to my quarters after the shift though, huh?’

‘Yes,’ Spock replied, ‘I wish to talk to you.’

‘Sure,’ Jim replied, ‘we’ve got lots to talk about.’

‘I’ll report for Alpha shift myself now, Jim’ Spock said as he stepped towards Jim’s door.

‘See you on the bridge!’ Jim called out stepping into the sonic shower.

Jim just made it to the bridge on time. It was a struggle to get through the shift. He wanted more time alone with Spock. It was strange to slip straight back into a professional relationship after the intimacy of the night before. Spock was clearly finding it strange too, Jim thought. Spock was wearing his Vulcan mask and clearly taking great pains to be perfectly professional with Jim. Well, of course he’d cope with it like that. But it just made Jim all the more keen to see the mask slip away again. 

At last the shift came to an end. When it did he was on the bridge, but Spock was talking to Scotty in engineering. So Jim walked back to his quarters alone and excitedly waited for Spock to arrive. Within minutes, he heard his door chime sound. 

‘Come in,’ Jim called out.

He heard his door open and Spock walked in.

Jim smiled widely, ‘It is so good to see you.’

‘Jim, I should like to talk,’ Spock answered seriously.

Jim frowned. Spock seemed nervous in his own Vulcan way. Jim had learned that the less emotion Spock showed, the more likely it was that something not good was happening behind those brown eyes. It also wasn’t a good sign that he hadn’t corrected Jim by pointing out that Jim had, in fact, seen him all day. When Spock forgot to be pedantic it usually meant he was distracted.

‘Of course,’ Jim answered, consciously projecting an air of calm, ‘Sit down. What did you want to talk to me about?’

Spock sat rigidly, ‘I should like to propose that we terminate our romantic relationship, and return to friendship.’

‘What?’ Jim spluttered, quickly turning away so Spock couldn’t see his reaction. He felt gutted, utterly gutted. His first instinct was to cry, to sob uncontrollably. But the wave of despair was quickly replaced by a wave of anger as his second instinct kicked in- to rant and rave. To fight rejection with rejection. To hit back. He was just about to do exactly that when he recalled the older Spock’s advice and it immediately steadied him. He trusted Spock implicitly and would follow his advice into the brink of disaster. If he did so, they would survive. He knew this in his bones. The older Spock had been clear. Do not get emotional. Make a calm, logical argument. Do not let him run. Forgive him if he runs anyway. It is not because he doesn’t love you, it is because he experiences deep shame. Jim took a deep breath, put on his best poker face and turned around to face Spock.

Spock was looking at him with a deeply furrowed brow.

Jim cleared his throat, ‘I apologise for my reaction, Spock. What you are suggesting was quite a surprise to me. If you have realised that I am not a compatible mate for you, that I cannot meet your needs, then I will of course release you from our romantic relationship and I will always be your friend.’

‘Jim,’ Spock answered carefully, ‘I do not doubt that you are a compatible mate for me. I am an unsuitable mate for you.’

‘I see,’ Jim replied. He was boiling over with anger inside. How could this incredible being, this person he loved so damn much, think he wasn’t enough for him? But he kept those feelings tightly contained, calmly stating ‘please explain your reasoning.’

‘Very well,’ Spock said, ‘and I should apologise. I have been selfish. I have known since the dissolution of my relationship with Nyota that I am not equipped to meet the emotional needs of humans in the context of a romantic relationship. I should not have allowed myself to overlook this fact.’

‘Right…’ Jim answered, ‘So you have already tried to have a romantic relationship with a human and you couldn’t meet her emotional needs. So you’ve concluded that you are incapable of doing so with any human?’

‘That was my conclusion, yes,’ Spock replied.

‘Spock, that isn’t very logical,’ Jim frowned, ‘You have a history of a failed relationship with a human. Don’t we all? I have a whole string of them. Welcome to the human race. Nyota and I are very different people. I don’t have the same emotional needs as she does.’

‘Yet I have already failed you,’ Spock whispered, his head lowered.

‘Spock, my emotional needs were better met in the hours we spent together than they’ve ever been met before in my entire life. What exactly do you mean when you say you’ve failed me?’ Jim answered.

Spock paused for a moment before answering in a whisper, ‘Last night, as you were falling asleep, you said you loved me and I made no reply.’

Jim blushed, ‘Oh, yes, I remember that now,’ he sighed, ‘Spock, the truth is, I failed you. I mean, it is true. I do love you. But I hadn’t intended to talk about my feelings so soon. I knew that would be confronting for you. It just slipped out. I’m sorry.’

Spock’s face wore the full Vulcan mask, but his hands began to clench at his sides, ‘You should not be forced to ignore your human instincts and needs for fear of offending me.’

‘No, Spock,’ Jim sighed again, ‘that isn’t what I meant. Even if you were fully human, I wouldn’t have intended to say that so soon and I certainly wouldn’t hold it against you that you didn’t say it back then and there. Feelings deepen at different rates, people become sure of their feelings at different rates. You know me. I leap right in. It would be unfair of me to expect even another human to make that leap as fast as I do. I’m wise enough to understand that, Spock.’

Spock shook his head his hands still clenching, ‘You don’t understand…’

‘Well, then please explain it to me…’ Jim said patiently.

‘I know my own mind and yet still I couldn’t… I…I didn’t… I failed to…’ Spock stuttered, ‘You deserve better than that, Jim.’

‘Wait,’ Jim replied, ‘You are saying that you love me too? That you already know you love me, but you can’t say it?’

Spock nodded.

Jim laughed, ‘Oh Spock, that’s an even stupider reason to break up.’

‘It is a clear demonstration that I cannot meet your needs, Jim,’ Spock answered, ‘I will not condemn you to such a life for my own selfish ends.’

‘Spock, for the record, I don’t need to hear you say that you love me. I understand that you are Vulcan and I want you exactly as you are. That’s what meets my emotional needs,’ Jim sighed and ran his hand through his hair, ‘but you know what? You don’t even have to get that because that’s not the point. The point is, you are being a real dick right now, Spock…’

Spock’s Vulcan mask slipped slightly and he looked startled and confused. His brow furrowed, ‘Jim?’

‘It is real simple. We both need to be open and honest with each other. You get to decide whether or not you choose to be in a relationship with me, whether or not that’s what’s best for you. I get to decide whether or not I choose to be in a relationship with you, whether or not that’s what’s best for me. You don’t get to take that choice away from me, Spock.’

Spock’s furrowed brow deepened further and he contemplated Jim’s words for nearly a minute before replying, ‘Your logic is sound. In attempting to dissolve our relationship I have acted both illogically and unethically. I would have completely overridden your personal agency. I apologise. The logical course of action is to ensure that you have sufficient information to make an informed decision and to then accept that your decision is your own.’

Jim sighed in relief, ‘Thank-you, Spock.’

‘Jim, may I outline all relevant facts now?’ Spock asked.

‘Sure,’ Jim replied, ‘go ahead. Let’s get this fully resolved.

‘Very well,’ Spock replied, ‘Firstly, I am uncertain as to whether or not I will ever verbally demonstrate my regard for you as a human partner would do.’

Jim swept this away with a hand gesture, ‘That’ fine. I don’t care.’

‘It is likely that I will never be able to have conversations with you about emotions in the same manner that humans typically do. It is my understanding that these discussions are important for your wellbeing,’ Spock continued.

Jim swept this away too, ‘Again, I figured that. Talking to you, exactly as you are, is what meets my needs. And if I ever need something different, well I can just talk to Bones can’t I? You don’t have to meet every fleeting need I ever have, Spock. That’s not healthy anyway.’

Spock nodded and continued, ‘The Vulcan equivalent of marriage is a bonded relationship. This involves the establishment of a telepathic link. Shields may be used so a degree of privacy between partners can be maintained, but there would be regular telepathic contact, rather similar to a meld but enduring…’

Jim grinned, ‘Sounds fantastic. I’d love that.’

Spock quirked an eyebrow, ‘it is also permanent.’

‘Good,’ Jim replied, ‘I consider marriage permanent too.’

‘As in its removal would risk our lives…’ Spock continued.

‘Fine,’ Jim answered, ‘I consider marriage permanent, as I said. I mean that.’

‘A bonded relationship isn’t just what I’d ultimately want to have, Jim,’ Spock replied, ‘it will be a necessity for me. While I am not suggesting it would be wise for us to bond now, I cannot delay the step indefinitely.’

‘That’s fine,’ Jim smiled running his hands through his hair, ‘Look, Spock, to be honest, I already know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to get there step by step, so we can sort out any challenges on the way, but I’m sure that’s what I ultimately want. I won’t want to keep delaying it either.’

‘I see… ‘Spock’s eyes widened in surprise before he continued to his next point, ‘When it is my time, I will be drawn to you then as my bonded mate. I will…’ Spock halted closing his eyes, ‘It is not spoken of…’ he opened his eyes again, ‘but you deserve to know now. It is called Pon Farr. I know, from Ambassador Spock, that it will still be some time before my first Pon Farr. It is a time of mating. I will become crazed with lust and lose all reason. If we do not mate, I will die. As my bondmate, you will experience similar symptoms through our telepathic connection. Once I have experienced my first Pon Farr it will occur every seven years for the rest of my life.’

Jim chuckled, ‘Crazed with lust? To be honest, Spock, that sounds like a perk…’

Spock’s brow furrowed and he replied seriously, ‘Jim, please consider it carefully.’

Jim sighed, ‘Alright, Spock, I’m willing to face Pon Farr for you. Is there anything else you want me to know?’

Spock shook his head.

‘Well then,’ Jim said, ‘considering all of that, I still want to be with you. Are we good now?’

‘Yes, Jim,’ Spock replied, ‘I will accept your decision.’

‘Good,’ Jim laughed, ‘let’s not pull this crap again, huh? Though, if you do I’ll forgive you, you know.’

‘I will not undermine your personal agency again, Jim,’ Spock answered.

‘I need to seal that with a kiss,’ Jim said walking over to Spock. Spock stood and their lips met in a kiss. Jim leant in further deepening the kiss. His hands found Spock’s and he stroked up and down Spock’s fingers. He was gratified to hear Spock make a small whimpering noise. 

‘Oh, Spock,’ Jim groaned, ‘I want you now.’

‘Yes, Jim,’ Spock whispered.

Jim began to guide them both to his bed as they continued kissing, pausing to tug and pull at Spock’s clothing. Spock reciprocated by tugging and pulling at Jim’s. Soon they both stood naked beside the bed. Jim pushed Spock onto the bed, ‘Lie down. I’m going to own you, Spock. I’m going to make you come undone. And you are never going to forget that you are mine.’

Jim grinned widely at Spock’s expression, an expression of both arousal and puzzlement. He picked up Spock’s left arm and brought his left hand towards his mouth. Spock’s eyes widened in surprise. Jim slowly, slowly, brought Spock’s hand closer. He began to slowly lick long, sure licks down each finger starting with the littlest. Spock’s breathing instantly hitched becoming rapid and unsteady. His face flushed green and every so often his hips would buck, making his hard-on bounce in a way that Jim found most delightful.

Jim took his time. Slowly, slowly licking each finger, sucking his finger, swirling his tongue around the palm of the hand, and then doing the same to Spock’s right hand. Jim could feel Spock’s pleasure and lust licking at the inside of his mind as Spock lost control of his mental shields. And every so often he’d hear a telepathic moan. Oh Jim. Oh Jim. 

He continued, slowly, slowly until he could feel the pressure building to just this side of overwhelming for Spock, until the bucking of Spock’s hips became regular and steady. Taking as many fingers into his mouth as he could and sucking hard, he repositioned himself on the bed so that Spock’s hard-on lined up with his own. Spock rutted against him with wanton abandon and Jim could feel Spock’s pleasure crescendo within his own mind as Spock sighed his release. The sight and sound of it was so undeniably hot, the feeling of Spock’s own orgasm licking at his mind so good, that Jim felt his own pleasure crescendo moments later. 

Spock was gulping for air, his breathing gradually regaining a steady rhythm. Jim smiled, ‘Good?’

Spock nodded and whispered, ‘Yes, Jim…’

Jim chuckled and reached for the cloth next to the bed to clean themselves up. All clean, he lay down again next to Spock. 

Spock was gazing at him questioningly, ‘Jim, I hadn’t told you about Vulcan hand sensitivity. How did you know?’

Jim grinned, ‘How did I know that sucking off your fingers would make you go wild with lust, rut against me with wanton abandon and cum hard all over me?’

Spock flushed green, ‘I believe that is what I said.’

‘I preferred my wording,’ Jim laughed.

‘But how did you know?’ Spock persisted.

‘Well,’ Jim answered, ‘I suppose that’s something else we should talk about. You see, I had some help in courting you.’

Spock stilled instantly, ‘Who?’

‘It’s alright, Spock,’ Jim tried to reassure him.

‘Who, Jim?’ Spock repeated, a perfect Vulcan statue, ‘Who have you been talking to?’

‘You…’ Jim replied, ‘the older you, I mean.’

Spock’s Vulcan perfect mask relaxed slightly and his brow furrowed in thought, ‘But how? He is dead, Jim.’

‘He left impressions, instructions, in my mind. They were triggered when I realised I was in love with you. I’ve been following his advice, following the plan he laid out step by step.’ Jim explained.

‘That would have required a bond, Jim. Or at the very least, a series of deep melds…’

‘He was bonded to me, with the other me in his universe I mean. His broken bond recognised me and the bond reformed. He never told me about that while he was alive because he thought I might demand that the bond be removed and he didn’t want to risk my life in removing it. He said he always shielded, well, apart from implanting the instructions I guess.’

Spock paused in consideration, ‘that makes sense. It was the only logical course of action open to him.’

‘He said we were t’hy’la…’ Jim grinned.

‘He… he said that?’ Spock asked.

‘Does that surprise you?’ Jim replied. 

‘No, I’ve already suspected that our compatibility was that deep,’ Spock replied, ‘my t’hyla….’

Jim leaned forward and kissed Spock slowly and deeply. Spock reached for Jim’s hands and ran his fingers over Jim’s in delicate Vulcan kisses. As the kiss ended they simply stared into each other’s eyes. 

Spock’s brow furrowed slightly again in thought, ‘Jim, for how long have you been following his plan?’

‘For a good few months now, why?’ Jim asked.

‘So, the meld?’

‘Ah, yes, part of the plan,’ Jim smiled.

‘Clarifying your desire for a long-term relationship?’

‘Part of the plan.’

‘The… sticky candy?’ Spock asked a slight green flush appearing on his cheeks.

‘All part of the plan,’ Jim smiled, ‘That’s how I knew about the hand thing. You liked it though, huh?’

Spock’s cheeks flushed a deeper shade of green, ‘It had a strong effect on me. An effect I now realise you had intended.’

Jim chuckled.

‘The…the… evening when you, while in the shower, you…’ Spock’s voice trailed off.

‘Jerked off with running commentary, being sure to drop your name over and over?’ Jim supplied, a light red blush spreading across his face.

‘Yes.’

‘Also part of the plan,’ Jim answered with a grin, ‘Actually, I’m curious about that one. Did you, um, join in?’

Spock raised an eyebrow as his face flushed green.

Jim laughed, ‘I’ll take that as a yes.’

‘What about the sparring?’

‘Yep,’ Jim answered, ‘Also part of the plan.’

‘And your attire?’

Jim grinned, ‘Just following your orders. The older you was quite definite- no shirt, tight red gym pants. You know, you are damn kinky, Spock.’

Spock flushed green, ‘So it would seem. The pants were most alluring.’

Jim laughed, ‘Well I found your attire captivating too and you weren’t following the kinky instructions of an older me from another universe…’

Spock’s mouth twitched slightly in a small smile. 

‘You know,’ Jim said, ‘he even warned me about the crap you pulled tonight. Apparently, he experienced a similar crisis. Actually ran off to Gol to attempt kolinahr. His Jim forgave him.’

Spock balked, ‘I am grateful that you do not have to forgive me for such a transgression, grateful that you could help me see the errors in my logic before I made such a terrible mistake.’

‘That’s what I’m here for,’ Jim replied with a wide grin, ‘I’m just glad the plan worked.’

‘As am I, t’hy’la’ Spock whispered.


	12. Epilogue Part One

**_One year later…_**

Jim stirred lazily. The first thing to register in his consciousness was feelings of warmth and contentment. His eyes fluttered open and he saw Spock lying quietly beside him, already awake, already looking at him. 

‘You been watching me long?’ Jim asked, yawning.

Spock raised an eyebrow as a light green flush dusted his cheeks, ’10.3 minutes. I find the sight of you asleep quite…captivating, t’hy’la.’

‘I know,’ Jim replied grinning widely, ‘Today’s a special day. We’ve been together a whole year, Spock.’

‘Not quite,’ Spock answered, ‘we still have another 11.4 hours until it has been a complete Earth year since we commenced a romantic relationship.’

‘Well, your tendency towards pedantry aside, I’m still going to start today by giving you an anniversary kiss,’ Jim laughed, leaning forward to kiss Spock’s lips. 

Spock deepened the kiss. As they both pulled back they continued to stare into each other’s eyes. 

‘Spock…’ ‘Jim…’ They both spoke at once.

Jim chuckled, ‘you first, Spock.’

‘You first, I insist,’ Spock replied.

‘I’ve organised a special dinner for us tonight, on the observation deck. Is that okay?’ Jim asked, a hint of nerves in his voice.

‘It would be most agreeable to dine with you this evening, Jim,’ Spock replied.

Jim smiled, ‘What were you going to say?’

Spock flushed green, ‘I confess I’ve been thinking lately about the plan you executed to court me, assisted by my older self.’

Jim laughed, ‘And?’

Spock gracefully leaned down to the side of the bed and retrieved a small wrapped package. He held it out to Jim, ‘A small token of my affection.’

Jim was intrigued. He unwrapped it carefully and found inside a bag of sticky candies, exactly the same varieties that he had eaten in front of Spock a little over a year ago. He laughed, ‘A token of your affection or a token of your lust?’

Spock’s lips quirked slightly, ‘I understood sweet confectionery to be a culturally appropriate romantic gesture, Jim.’

Jim laughed harder, ‘Shall I eat some?’

‘Please…’

Jim took a candy out of the packet and rolled it carefully in his fingers before putting it in his mouth. Spock stared with rapt attention as Jim chewed and swallowed the candy, bringing his fingers to his lips and slowly licking the sticky residue off his one. Spock’s face flushed green and his breathing quickened. Jim moaned as he sucked his own fingers, ‘So good…’

Spock whimpered slightly.

Jim took another candy out of the packet, rolled it around in his fingers and popped it into his mouth. He carefully licked and sucked at his fingers, delighting in the way that Spock openly stared.

‘Maybe I should eat the rest of these later today, during our shift, perhaps?’ Jim teased.

Spock shuddered, ‘that would not be wise, Jim.’

‘I dunno, test that famous Vulcan control…’ Jim continued.

‘You test it constantly in many ways as you are well aware,’ Spock replied.

Jim chuckled, ‘Well then, maybe I should help you lose it completely. Shall I suck your fingers, Spock?’

‘No,’ Spock replied quickly to Jim’s surprise.

‘If that’s not what you had in mind, what were you wanting?’ Jim asked, curious. 

‘I…I…have also been thinking of that evening…in the shower…’ Spock answered.

Jim chuckled, ‘You want me to jerk off in the shower for you?’

‘Yes,’ Spock replied, ‘but this time…I would like to watch.’

Jim groaned, ‘Oh, yes… I could get into that…’

Jim got out of bed and Spock got up too to follow but Jim stopped him, ‘Just give me a moment to go to the toilet first. Come in when you hear the shower.’

Spock nodded, swallowing thickly in anticipation, ‘Very well, t’hy’la.’

As Jim stepped, naked, into the shower and began to slowly stroke himself, he heard Spock enter the room. Spock was still fully clothed but clearly aroused. Jim looked at Spock, meeting his rapt gaze as he began to stroke himself faster. He felt his cheeks warm with blush. Although Spock had been his lover for a year now, there was still something so exposing about openly wanking in front of him, while Spock remained fully clothed. Exposing in a good way, a really good way. And the fact that they were re-enacting that night made it all the more arousing.

Jim groaned and his eyes fluttered closed, ‘Oh Spock… Oh… that was so good that night… knowing you could hear me… it was hard not to cum straight away, did I tell you that?’

‘Don’t lose control too soon now, Jim,’ Spock replied his voice brimming with arousal, ‘though I am anticipating the pleasure of seeing you ejaculate.’

Jim groaned again and his hand stilled as he fought to regain control. He began stroking again in slow, long strokes, gazing back at Spock, ‘I thought of you…you sucking me off…’

‘I know, Jim, I could hear you moaning about it...’ Spock replied, ‘And about wanting me to penetrate you too…’

‘Oh Spock… ‘Jim groaned, ‘did it turn you on, hearing me like that? Did you get hard?’

‘Yessss….’ Spock hissed, ‘I was painfully aroused. Jim, I wanted to break the door down and do exactly as you were saying, to take your erection in my mouth, to penetrate your anus…’

Jim moaned loudly, ‘Yes, Spock….Damn I love your nerdy dirty talk….Did…did…you touch yourself?’

‘How could I resist?’ Spock replied pulling at his pyjama pants to free his erection. He began to stroke himself in earnest, ‘you are so beautiful, Jim’

Jim groaned, ‘Oh Spock… I’m getting close. Watch me, Spock. I’m gonna cum for you…’

‘Yes, t’hy’la,’ Spock answered ‘Ejaculate for me…’

Jim groaned as he reached climax and Spock shuddered as he joined him moments later. 

Jim leaned against the wall, his breathing still ragged, ‘that was so good, Spock.’

Spock fully removed his pajamas, placing them in the laundry chute. Naked, he stepped into the shower with Jim, ‘I found it most satisfying also.’

Jim grinned widely, ‘You get more like your older self every day…’

Spock lifted a single eyebrow, ‘Even accounting for differences in timelines, it is likely I will come to resemble my older self more with time.’ 

Jim laughed, ‘You know what I mean, Spock…’

The corner of Spock’s mouth quirked slightly. Jim leaned forward and planted a kiss on that mouth. They kissed slowly and deeply, hands finding each other to add a Vulcan kiss to the human one, water cascading down both of their bodies. 

Jim sighed in pure happiness, ‘I love you, Spock.’

‘I…I…love you too, t’hy’la,’ Spock whispered.

‘You know you don’t have to say it, if it makes you uncomfortable…’ Jim began but Spock cut him off with, ‘I want to say it. It is becoming more comfortable with time.’

Jim nodded.

They broke apart to clean themselves, continuing to shower and then dry themselves in a comfortable silence. As had become the norm, they transitioned seamlessly from couple to command team as they prepared for their shift, beginning to discuss Enterprise business as they walked together to the bridge. 

The shift itself passed swiftly. Jim had deliberately manipulated their plans to ensure that this special day would be a straight-forward routine day on board the Enterprise. He had also arranged to leave the bridge a bit earlier himself so he could ensure that his dinner plans were going smoothly. His excuse was that McCoy wanted to meet with him in the medical bay, a meeting that would conveniently last until the end of the shift but he knew from Spock’s delicately raised eyebrow and the smirks of the rest of the bridge crew that no one was fooled. 

Jim’s heart hammered in his chest as he approached the observation deck. Opening the door he found several yeoman hard at work. They’d already set up a table and chairs on the deck and were fussing about with crockery, silverware and old-fashioned wax candles. 

He thanked them profusely and checked on how the dinner itself was going. He was reassured that the dinner, a smorgasbord of vegetarian dishes both Terran and Vulcan would be discretely delivered on a tray in time for the meal. Thanking them again, he took in the view. 

The universe swam before him, star after star calling, beckoning. No matter how many times he came here, the view always filled him with awe. And yet this, rushing through the universe on the Enterprise, this was his home. It was their home. He could think of no better setting for what he had planned. His heart began to thump again. 

The door slid open and for one moment Jim thought it might have been Spock, come to the dinner early. But instead, McCoy walked in holding a bottle of scotch and two glasses.

‘Bones!’ Jim exclaimed, ‘it was just an alibi, you didn’t have to actually meet with me, you know.’

McCoy laughed, ‘Nonsense. What are friends for? Anyway I brought you a little something for courage. Doctor’s orders.’

Jim laughed, running a hand through his hair, ‘Actually, I think that’s just the thing. I’m so damn nervous.’

McCoy sat the glasses on the table and began to pour the scotch, ‘Yeah, that’s just how it feels, Jim. You know he’s crazy about you though, right? There’s only one way tonight’s going to end.’

Jim smiled, ‘Yeah, I don’t actually doubt his answer. I guess I just want it all to be perfect.’

‘Look,’ McCoy said as he passed Jim his glass, ‘don’t get caught up in the details. You love each other. Holding onto that is what matters.’

Jim nodded, ‘Thanks, Bones.’

‘Well, to you and Spock,’ Bones said raising his glass, ‘Long may you defy the odds, make googly eyes at each other on the bridge and stay under the ridiculous delusion that the rest of us don’t know what you get up to when you sneak off together during missions…’

Jim laughed and downed his drink, ‘I know you all know, I just can’t resist him…’

‘Dammit, Jim,’ chuckled Bones, ‘That wasn’t a request for more information.’

‘Don’t tell Spock though,’ Jim added, smiling.

Bones snorted, ‘Like I’m the kind of person to needle your hobgoblin for my own amusement.’

Jim laughed, ‘You’re exactly that kind of person. Bet you have a point system worked out for it and everything.’

‘Now there’s an idea,’ Bones replied, smiling, ‘What do you think? One point for a raised eyebrow, two points for a snarky comment? The snark is pretty easy to get. Getting him to actually admit to having feelings, that’s right up there. Gotta be at least 50 points. ’

Jim laughed harder, ‘How many points for that tiny smile he does where the side of his mouth lifts just a fraction? Or a blush?’

Bones frowned, ‘Damn- they’ve gotta be 50 points too.’

‘If it is was a competition, I’d be winning, Bones, you know that don’t you? I’d be way ahead of you.’ Jim replied still laughing.

‘Yes, well, you have certain advantages I am grateful to lack…’ Bones replied.

Jim’s eyes lit up, ‘Hey, speaking of my advantages, how many points for…’

‘I’m stopping you right there, Jim!’ Bones interrupted loudly, ‘I know what you are about to say and I do not need to hear it.’

Jim chuckled, ‘I wasn’t going to actually say it, Bones. You know you are fun to provoke too.’

Bones shook his head, picking up the bottle and empty glasses at the same time, ‘And on that note, I’m returning to sickbay. Good luck, kid.’

‘Thanks, Bones’ Jim replied.

He spent another five minutes just starting at the view before walking back to his quarters to get ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The epilogue got quite long in comparison to the other chapters so I've split it into two. Will aim to post part two tomorrow.


	13. Epilogue Part Two

Jim knocked on Spock’s door dressed in his favourite smart-casual clothes, including his leather jacket. He was still nervous. So much for the doctor’s prescription. Spock answered, wearing a high-necked charcoal grey shirt that Jim had always particularly liked. 

Jim smiled as his heart fluttered at the sight of Spock, ‘You’re gorgeous.’

Spock nodded, ‘Thank-you, t’hy’la. I find the sight of you appealing also.’

‘Well, shall we?’ Jim asked.

‘Indeed,’ Spock replied.

Jim hooked his arm around Spock’s and they walked together to the observation deck. Jim opened the door, revealing the set table, chairs and tray of food. A yeoman was lighting the last candle. She smiled shyly as she finished and left, ‘Enjoy your meal, sirs.’

Jim beckoned Spock in and held a chair out for him to sit. Spock raised an eyebrow but obediently sat down. Jim served Spock, fetching him a drink first and then spooning various vegetarian delicacies onto his plate. Only when Spock was served did Jim help himself. Spock watched Jim with the faintest of smiles on his face. Well, for a human it would be the faintest of smiles but Jim recognised it for the wide open grin that it was. When Jim also had a full glass and plate, he sat and they began to eat together. 

Jim’s nerves disappeared as they slipped into the comfortable familiarity of sharing a meal. The conversation shifted around various topics, from commenting on the food, to the atmosphere created by the old-style wax candles, to discussing Spock’s latest projects, to predicting who would win their next chess match. As they came to the end of the meal, the conversation turned to the view. In particular, how awe-inspiring it was and how, for both of them, it felt like home. 

‘It has now been an exact Earth year since we began a romantic relationship, Jim,’ Spock said.

Jim recognised it for the opening it was and seized upon the moment. 

‘Actually, Spock, there’s something I’d like to ask you,’ Jim said, his nerves making a sudden reappearance.

Spock raised a single eyebrow, ‘you can ask me anything, t’hy’la.’

Jim grinned and took a deep breath, ‘I want to do this the Vulcan way but there’s an old Earth custom I’d really like to do right now. Is that okay?’

Spock’s brow furrowed in confusion, ‘Of course, Jim.’

Jim stood up, walked over to where Spock was sitting and bent down on one knee. He smiled shyly up at Spock, ‘Do you know the significance of this?’

‘Yes…’ Spock whispered, ‘yes I do, Jim…’

Jim grinned, ‘Good. Spock, this year together has been the happiest of my life. Soul mates. T’hy’la. Whatever words you want to use to describe it, we belong together, in every way. Spock, will you do me the honour of bonding with me?’ 

‘Yes, Jim,’ Spock whispered, ‘yes…’

Jim reached out his hands to caress Spock’s with Vulcan kiss. Spock sighed and leaned down, pressing his lips to Jim’s. They kissed slowly, gently and deeply. 

Breaking off the kiss Spock whispered, ‘When, Jim?’

‘Tonight,’ Jim replied, ‘If you are willing.’

‘I am,’ Spock answered, ‘but you would not prefer a ceremony?’

Jim shook his head, ‘I don’t need that. It is more romantic this way I think.’

‘Indeed,’ Spock replied kissing Jim again, ‘However, the observation deck is not the best setting.’

Jim laughed as he stood up, ‘We need to meld during sex to bond, right?’

‘Correct,’ Spock answered, ‘And I will use the meld to initiate the bond.’

‘Let’s go to bed then, t’hy’la,’ Jim smiled, holding out his hand. Spock took his hand and allowed Jim to lead him back through the ship to his quarters, blushing slightly green at the intimacy of the touch. 

With the door shut and the privacy lock engaged, they began to slowly undress each other, pressing gentle kisses over each new piece of skin as it was revealed and moving slowly toward the bed. 

As the last piece of clothing was removed, Jim stood for a moment just looking at Spock, ‘Damn. You are beautiful.’ 

Spock flushed green and Jim chuckled pushing him onto the bed. He slowly kissed his way down Spock’s body, his tongue flicking over Spock’s nipples and stroking long, generous licks across his inner thighs. He continued until he felt that familiar feeling of Spock’s lust lapping at his mind and could hear Spock’s telepathic moaning, ‘Jim…Jim…yes…please….Jim…please’

Jim took Spock’s length into his mouth and Spock whimpered as he licked and sucked. Jim enjoyed the sweet spicy taste of Spock’s natural lubricant. Before he tested Spock’s control too much, he let Spock’s erection slip from his mouth and crawled back up Spock’s body for an enthusiastic kiss. Spock flipped him in the middle of the kiss, and Jim found himself the one lying on the bed, being teased with kisses and licks. 

Jim groaned loudly as Spock moved down his body, taking his cock into his mouth and sucking hard. Jim reached down and grabbed Spock’s left hand, pushing Spock’s fingers into his own mouth and sucking. He could hear Spock whimper and could feel his wordless pleasure lapping mentally at his mind as Spock’s mental shields again faltered. 

Jim groaned loudly. Damn he loved this. They could both easily cum like this, had done many times before.

Spock released Jim’s cock and pulled his fingers out of Jim’s mouth shuddering, ‘Please, t’hy’la, you test my control…

‘Isn’t that my job?’ laughed Jim.

‘It would seem so,’ Spock replied crawling up Jim’s body for a kiss.

Jim gazed into Spock’s eyes, ‘I want you inside me, when you bond us.’

Spock’s mouth twitched into one of his tiny smiles, ‘Very well.’

Spock moved back down Jim’s body. His penis was generously coated in his own natural lubricant and Spock used this to prepare Jim, coating his fingers and gently pushing them into Jim’s anus. 

Jim groaned, ‘Damn, I love it when you are so wet you can just use your own lube, Spock.’

‘I know, t’hy’la,’ Spock replied pushing a second finger inside and stretching Jim’s opening carefully. 

He crooked his finger, finding the delicate bundle of nerves and was rewarded with Jim’s loud groans, ‘Oh, Spock… Please, please take me…’

Spock persisted in preparing Jim, ignoring the begging, until he was satisfied that Jim was sufficiently ready. Removing his fingers, Jim’s begging intensified, ‘Yes, please, please, your cock, I need it, I need it now…’

Spock gently pushed himself into Jim’s anus, whimpering at the delightful tight feeling. Jim groaned loudly at the pleasure of being filled.

‘More, Spock, more,’ Jim begged.

Spock rocked gently and Jim continued to groan, ‘So good…’

‘Yessss…’ Spock hissed and Jim could feel Spock’s wordless pleasure lapping at his mind again. 

Jim felt Spock’s hands reach for his meld points and heard Spock whisper, ‘My mind to your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts…’

Jim felt a blissful feeling of coming home, of being surrounded by Spock. He could feel his own pleasure and Spock’s all at once. It was overwhelming, and building quickly…

He heard Spock whisper again, ‘Parted from me and never parted. Never and always touching and touched…’

Jim felt his own climax, felt Spock’s climax, heard his groans as though through Spock’s ears and heard Spock’s whimpers as though through his own. 

He felt Spock collapse on top of him and then slide gently out, collapsing beside him instead. Everything was pleasure, sensation, love. He could hear panting and he couldn’t distinguish whether it was Spock’s hard breathing he was hearing, or his own. Or maybe it was both?

With time, Jim didn’t know how long exactly, the buzzing confusion settled and Jim was once again within his own mind. But now, now he could feel Spock’s mind right next to his. It was as if there was now a door between them and all he had to do was open the door and step through. 

‘Yes, t’hy’la,’ he heard Spock’s mental voice in his mind, ‘A door is an apt metaphor. I am shielding. You will learn to do so too in time. We will feel each other’s presence and when we wish to do so, we will be able to share thoughts freely as during a meld without touching.’

‘We’re bonded?’ Jim asked speaking out loud.

‘Yes, Jim,’ Spock replied out loud, ‘We are bonded.’

Jim grinned, ‘Thank-you. I love you, Spock.’

‘And I love you, t’hy’la,’ Spock replied.

Jim smiled, ‘you didn’t even whisper that time…’

Spock raised an eyebrow, ‘I did not feel the need to…’

Jim grinned widely and they cuddled in together, both suddenly exhausted from the bonding. Naked and wrapped up in each other’s arms, they drifted into sleep.

Jim opened his eyes and found himself at a familiar campfire under the stars, a campfire he hadn’t seen in a year. 

‘Congratulations, Jim,’ he heard the gravelly voice of the older Spock and turned to see him sitting beside him.

‘Spock!’ he exclaimed, though he knew he couldn’t hear him, ‘Thank-you, thank-you so much…’

Spock’s mouth quirked into his tiny smile, ‘You have bonded. I am very…happy…for you both. I hope you enjoy many years together, Jim. Cherish them.’

‘Oh, I will, I will…’ Jim replied.

‘You are still so very young,’ Spock continued, ‘There may come a time, as it did for my counterpart, when you fear your own mortality, fear leaving your Spock with so many years ahead.’

Jim’s mind ground to a halt. Damn he was so young. He’d dwelt on their deaths, on the idea of one of them leaving the other behind many times. But always it was fears of one of them dying young, tragic scenarios… He hadn’t fully appreciated that even if he lived his whole life through with Spock, dying in his arms as an old man, Spock would have to face many years without him. 

‘Don’t fear it, Jim,’ Spock said firmly, ‘I will not pretend that the death of my Jim was not a cause of significant pain for me. I will not pretend that I do not miss him. But he made every year of my life more meaningful, more wondrous… He made me happy. Not just while he was alive, but in the years that followed. Parted from me and never parted…. You understand, don’t you, Jim? Your Spock will too, when he is ready. Do not fear.’

Jim gulped and nodded at the somber thought.

‘And now I find myself an old man, contemplating my own death,’ Spock continued, ‘I find myself sifting through my life. There are many precious memories. And I keep coming back to you. Forgive me, I must ask you to indulge me, to speak to you as though you were him. I keep coming back to you, Jim. My bondmate. My t’hy’la. Allow me to say one last time how deeply I love you…’

Jim’s eyes welled in tears, ‘I love you too, Spock…’

Spock nodded, tears in his own eyes, ‘I know you do, t’hy’la. I know…’

Spock smiled, a full smile, ‘Thank-you, Jim. I die at peace with my life. I wish yourself and your bondmate the fullest of lives. You will make each other happy.’

Jim nodded and Spock stood lifting his hand into the ta’al, ‘Live long and prosper, t’hy’la…’

The scene faded as Jim woke with a shock in his own bed, in Spock’s arms, tears still in his eyes. 

‘Jim, are you well?’ Spock asked sensing Jim’s sadness through the bond.

‘Yes,’ Jim replied, tears running down his cheeks, ‘it was a final message, from your older self.’

‘I see…’ Spock answered his brow furrowed, ‘I thought that might happen when we bonded. I should have warned you. I confess it did not occur to me tonight…’

‘Why did you think that’d happen?’ Jim asked, frowning.

‘It is what I would have done,’ Spock answered carefully, ‘I don’t think I could have resisted. The urge to say goodbye…’

‘Yes,’ Jim said wiping away his tears, ‘He wanted to say “I love you” one last time I think. To his Jim, of course, but he couldn’t do that so he said it to me. He also said congratulations and he wanted me to know that you’d be okay after, after I’m gone…’

‘I see…’ Spock replied, ‘It is not logical, but the differences in our lifespans are not a topic upon which I am inclined to dwell.’

‘Parted from me and never parted…. He said you’d understand when it was time. Said his Jim still made him happy even in the years after he died,’ Jim whispered.

Spock’s mouth twitched into a slight smile, ‘I will look for succour in his words when the time comes. For now, I wish to focus on our life together, t’hy’la.’

Jim smiled and kissed Spock gently. Wrapping their bodies back around each other they found comfort in each other’s touch, the bond humming gently with mutual affection. Content again, they slowly drifted back to sleep. 

There were still many adventures to be had, together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank-you to everyone who left kudos, commented or bookmarked this story. I had so much fun writing it and it was a delight to know that others were having lots of fun reading it. You are awesome! 
> 
> I'm having a lot of fun both writing and reading within the Star Trek fandom. I can't get enough of Star Trek and I can't get enough of the incredible ship that is Kirk/Spock. I'm intending to write more K/S stories in the future. In fact, I already have an idea for another Star Trek AOS story (K/S of course). It is currently in the planning stages. So if you did enjoy this story, keep an eye out for more K/S stories from me in the future.


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